Round 5

Got my period this morning. I shed a couple tears, but I'm being "strong" since I'm at work. The hardest part of all of it isn't the fact that I know I'm not pregnant for sure, but the look on my husbands face when I tell him. It's a mixture of sadness and pity. I know he means well, and there's not much he can do to console me besides hold me, but it's so hard to constantly not only let myself down, but him too. He wants this just as badly as I do. *sigh*

Remember how we were going to move on to an IUI this cycle? Yea, that's probably not going to happen. Curtis' work has a shutdown next month and it's next to impossible to get a day off. When I looked at the calendar I saw that my cycle day 12 is a Monday, but if I trigger then, we would have to do the IUI on a day that he works. It would be cycle day 14 when I could trigger so he could make it in with me. I don't think we can wait that long; I may end up ovulating on my own. At his work, without a two weeks notice, he can't request a day off. UGH. It sucks.

I'm having a pretty bummer day guys. I'm trying to pick it up, because we have Curtis' Grams' birthday party tonight, but I'm struggling. I know I'll get through it, with a smile on my face, but now I understand why people keep quiet about this. Everyone is going to want to talk about it while I just want to get drunk. Anybody have any suggestions for a good bottle of wine that goes with stew??

In other AWESOME news: Rumor has it Snooki is pregnant. Please excuse me while I go throw myself off a fucking bridge.