10 weeks update!!

Pregnancy Survey Fun!

How Far Along: I say 9 weeks 6 days, OB says 10 weeks 1 day. 

Weight Gain: 3 pound 

Innie or Outtie: Innie

Maternity Clothes: Not since my last purchase. 

Stretch Marks: On my hips. WAH!  

Sleep: is ok. My left side is preferred. But when I wake up, my back is killing me!

Pregnancy Perk: Curtis is still being super incredible. 

Embarrassing Pregnant Moment: My endless gas

Baby Purchases this week: None yet still. Waiting on the sexes! 

Best quote regarding baby this week: "Only because I like you" - my doctor sneaking us in for an sonogram. 

Gender: No idea yet!

Movement: None that I can feel yet, but I know they are in there moving like crazy!!

Food Cravings: Teriyaki wings from Buffalo Wild Wings. And tacos.  

Food Aversions: Nothing 

Labor Signs: None

How’s Mama? Tired, irritable, a crying-mess...on cloud nine :)

What I am looking forward to:  Seeing the babies again in 2 weeks!

Our Baby in Veggie/Fruit Terms: Prunes I guess

Milestones: We hit the 10 week mark!! 

Graduation to our OBGYN (1st appt)

I'm obviously doing just a wonderful job of keeping up with this blog aren't I? I am so so sorry that I have kept many of you in the dark. As excited as I am about this pregnancy (FINALLY!) and wanting to shout it from the rooftops or blab nonstop about it to anyone I come in contact with, I've been incredibly reserved. Maybe it's the infertility mentality, maybe it's just normal, but I felt like the more I talked about it, the more I was "jinxing" it and the babies might just disappear in to thin air! That's pretty cray cray right?! Alas, I just didn't want to blog or talk or anything about it to anyone besides my close family and friends. I just felt that once we got closer to the 9-10 week mark, I would magically feel better and more secure. Which leads us to where we are now..

Yesterday was our first appointment with my OBGYN*. That means that when we wen in for our last ultrasound with our RE we did in fact see and hear the heartbeats (the most beautiful sound in the world) and we were able to move on to the next step! I called my OB as soon as we got in the car hoping that we would get in to see her ASAP. Turns out, we would have to wait 3 weeks before we saw her again! All those crazy thoughts crept back in and I kept worrying that we would go in for a sonogram and see that the babies had stopped growing or something else horrendous.
We got to the appointment and the lady at the front desk hands me a big black bag. Inside it were all kinds of goodies: formula (although I plan to breastfeed), a bottle, journal, baby info, pre-registration for the hospital, etc. It was so neat! When we finally went back to the room, I asked the triage nurse if I was getting an ultrasound. She said, "It's not ordered, but you can ask your doctor." My heart sank. I just wanted to make sure my babies were ok**!! The doctor came in and was so happy to see us for a new OB appt. She had helped us with trying to get pregnant the first few months, but we soon had to move on to the RE since their office can do the more intricate procedures. I immediately jumped in to, "Can I get an ultrasound? Please. I just want to make sure that they are growing..." She smiled and said, "Ok, but only cause I like you." All the weight lifted off my shoulders. Have I ever mentioned that I have been incredibly blessed with amazing doctors?? Even if I say it 100,000 times, it will never be enough.
Anyways, the appt was pretty standard. Went over our history, asked how I was feeling, checked my heart and lungs and asked if we had any questions. She also said according to our insemination our due date is more like July 6th, but she's only going to push for us to get 38 weeks. She is also willing to do a vaginal birth, as long as our babies cooperate. Also, we are considered high risk, but she's not going to see us every two weeks. She thinks that as long as everything is going great, every 4 weeks (until 28 weeks) is just fine. After 28 weeks, we move to every 2 weeks. I'm really happy to hear that as long as the babies and I are healthy, there's no reason to go overboard on checking, testing etc. She did, however, suggest we do the Nuchal test since the risk for downs is higher for twins. We agreed and that ultrasound is scheduled for the 21st. At that time, they can also tell me if the twins are fraternal or identical. Then, of course, is the anatomy scan at 18 weeks. We got a postcard in the mail for a 3D/4D "sneek peak" at 15 weeks, but it's $75 per session and we would need 2, hence a double charge. I'm thinking that we can wait for the 18 week mark!

Next, came the quicky ultrasound. She literally snuck us in front of other people and just gave us a quick look to see them (no measuring or heartbeat listening, which is bummer, but I'll see them in 2 weeks anyways. Here's what our little babies look like at 10 weeks:

See the one on the right waving?? I'll be honest, I didn't cry at the first and second ultrasound. This one?? I wanted to sob my eyes out! They were moving around and looking so cute and big (even though they are only the size of like a prune)! I couldn't believe how much they had changed in just 3 weeks! It was simply amazing. After seeing them happy and moving and growing (right on schedule, maybe even a few days ahead), all of my fears just disappeared. It's just...awesome. That's the only way I can describe it. 

Well, since I think this blog post has gone a bit TOO long, I'm gonna go ahead and put the survey (and a belly shot!) in another post. Be on the lookout to see how big I've gotten***!! As always, love you all and lots of baby dust to any ttc/infertiles! 

*Fun fact: Our OBGYN is my RE's OBGYN and yesterday morning, she delivered his newest set of twin boys (he already has twin girls) via C-section. Pretty awesome huh?!

**I wasn't having any symptoms or anything, I'm just a crazy worrier...aka Mom right? 

***ZOMG. And it's only just begun!

First Ultrasound!

To start off, can I blame my lack of blogging on the pregnancy? No? Well, guess who's gonna do it anyways, THIS GIRL. 

Honestly though, I don't know why it took me so long to type this post. I just kept putting it off for some insane reason. But without further adieu, the ultrasound results:

Some of you should be able to tell by this picture how much our lives are going to change in 7 months. For those who think we're having an owl, have no fear! There will be no feathered friend of Harry Potter coming out of my vagina around July 1st, however there will be TWO BABIES. 

Yup, you read that right, We are pregnant with TWINS! 

As you can see, the twin on the left is a bit bigger than the one on the right, leading us to believe that they are fraternal. They are measuring 6 weeks 4 days & 6 weeks 5 days big at the time of the ultrasound, which changed my due date to June 30th/July 1st, although I'm sure that will change no less than 5 more times before the babies actually get here. 

Um, that's pretty much the update for now. We have another ultrasound with our RE tomorrow at 2:30pm, where we get to see the heartbeats! Then, he said we would be able to graduate on to our OBGYN! 

In the meantime, in between the exciting ultrasounds and other testing stuff I'll talk about, I figured I'd do a weekly update with these pregnancy surveys. Sorry if you find them super annoying, but I know I'll forget something if I try to type it out in a blog format. 

Pregnancy Survey Fun!

How Far Along: 7 weeks 1 day

Weight Gain: 1 pound 

Innie or Outtie: Innie

Maternity Clothes: I bought one pair of maternity jeans and a plus-size sweater from Target.

Stretch Marks: No new ones.  

Sleep: is GLORIOUS and I wish I could get at least two additional naps in a day!

Pregnancy Perk: Husband is being so helpful and doting. 

Embarrassing Pregnant Moment: Grunting while I poop. 

Baby Purchases this week: Haven't started buying for them just yet. 

Best quote regarding baby this week: "You're gonna get so fat!" - My dad, brother and husband. 

Gender: No idea yet!

Movement: None yet

Food Cravings: Nothing that I just "have to have!", but Mexican food is wonderful all the time and Jolly Rancher Crunch'n'Chews are delicious. 

Food Aversions: Nothing that really stands out, just thinking of food makes me feel nauseous, until I eat it. 

Labor Signs: None

How’s Mama? Tired, severely constipated (thanks progesterone supplements), bloated, very sore boobs, and just tired. 

What I am looking forward to:  Seeing the heartbeats tomorrow! 

Our Baby in Veggie/Fruit Terms: My app says a couple of blueberries! 

Milestones: At the risk of sounding cheesy, every week we hit is considered a milestone to me!

What to Expect When You're Expecting (The Movie)

It's rare that I watch a movie or read a book and want to do a review on it, but since this movie hits pretty close to home, I figured I needed to give my opinion on it. Well, maybe I don't really need to, but I'm going to, so deal with it!

*Warning* I will be posting spoilers, so if you haven't seen the movie and don't want is spoiled, please stop reading now!

Overall the movie was pretty good. Of course with my hormones in overdrive, I had quite a few moments where I broke down and cried:

- When the younger couple had a miscarriage. That is currently my WORST FEAR and I cried like a friggin' baby when that happened.
- When J.Lo had her breakdown regarding IVF and bad eggs and it being her fault and spending all their 401K on the treatments. I still tear up thinking about that moment!
- When Elizabeth Banks had her c-section and lost all that blood so she coded on the table and they rushed the husband out. Another fear of mine and, well, tears...just tears.
-Then, of course, when J.Lo got her baby from Ethiopia.

There were parts that I really enjoyed:

- How Elizabeth Banks' character just loathed being pregnant. It just goes to show that even though we infertiles give anything and everything to get pregnant, we can still hate it the whole time. It's like, people just assume that since we're finally pregnant, we finally got what we fought so hard for, we will act all CareBears and Rainbows (like Brooklyn Decker's character). I can't tell you how many times I see infertile women complain about pregnancy and people just rip in to her because "How dare you be miserable? That means you're ungrateful!". I think it accurately portrayed that not every pregnancy is the same and the end result, a beautiful baby, is what everyone is truly after.
- Chris Rock and the rest of the "Dad's Club" was straight hilarity! "Last week, my kid ate a cigarette." It just goes to show that you won't be the mythical "perfect parent" and that's ok. Just, please don't let your kid ingest too many cigarettes, mmkay?
- Elizabeth Banks peeing on no less than 5 pregnancy tests. I took 3 the morning I found out and if I hadn't given my other one to a cousin, I would probably pee on it too.
- Joe Manganiello doing pull-ups while being shirtless. HUMINA HUMINA!

The part that kinda pissed me off:

- You soon realize in the beginning that Elizabeth Banks and her husband have been trying to have a baby for a while. She has an alarm go off on her phone (to alert her to the fact that she is ovulating) and she desperately grabs her husband to jump his bones. That part is more or less true, at least I know that feeling and I have seen the "husband's" hesitation as sex has become like an "routine/act" as opposed to spontaneous and fun.
Later on (I'm assuming that day) the wife and husband go on a date and the wife announces that she wants to "quit trying" for a while, "just enjoy being married" as she downs a glass of wine after not drinking for 2 years. This, of course, leads to unscheduled sex. A few weeks down the road, BAM!, she finds out she's pregnant.
The entire scene I just mentioned above implies to the audience that because they finally had "spontaneous, relaxing sex" that they wound up pregnant. That just as soon as she decided to "stop trying", she got what she wanted. To me, that is just ridiculous. Yes, we all hear of these magical couples who try and try and as soon as they decide to stop trying, the get pregnant...but people, that's 1 in 8 odds. It does not happen to everyone. AND it has been proven that stress is not correlated with being fertile or infertile! It's seriously one of the most frustrating things when people tell me a story about a couple that just "gave up and they finally got pregnant". It's rare and guess what, it doesn't always work! So for the movie to imply that, I was a pretty ticked off. I have yet to find a movie that accurately portrays what most infertile couples go through. Even Baby Mama pissed me off a bit, but that's a different (if ever) review.

Bottom line, if you happen to speak to someone who is having difficulty trying to conceive, don't tell them to "Relax and it'll happen" or share a story about "This one couple who stopped trying/adopted and BAM! got pregnant"...just give them a hug and offer them decaf coffee/tea or a glass of wine, depending on where they are in their cycle.

Well, there's my review. I'm sure I'm missing some parts (I watched the movie on Saturday and I've slept A LOT since then), but if you'd like to add something, feel free to comment below!

As always, baby dust and good thought!

Beta #2

It looks as if our little baby bean is hanging in there! This morning was Beta #2 and the results came back with a perfect doubling. As you know, our first Beta was 575. Today's Beta was 1075!! Woot!!! I was really starting to worry as I did the test at 8am and by 4 pm I still hadn't heard from them. Finally I couldn't take it anymore I just decided to call the doctor's office. Low and behold, my results never made it across the nurses desk so she wasn't even planning on calling me! Thank God I gave in and called them!
She also said that they would've been happy with an increase of 66% which would have been in the 850-950 range, but with the increase that I had, they are very pleased.
They went ahead and scheduled our ultrasound for next Friday at 9am. An ultrasound that I am very much looking forward to? Who woulda thunk it?! Of course, that is when we will find out exactly how many baby beans are in the ol' uterus. I'm warming up to the idea of twins, but I will obviously be ecstatic with just one. I can't wait to see our little orange seed (thanks What to Expect When You're Expecting app!!)!!

Thanks again for all the incredible support! Infertility really sucks, but I have met some amazing people during our journey. I can't wait until everyone can get the BFP's they deserve!

As always, baby dust and wonderful thoughts!

Round 7 results!

Where did I last leave you? Oh that's right. Whining about money and how we wouldn't be able to afford another round of fertility treatments because of Curtis' gallbladder and wah wah wah. Wellllll, in case you didn't already know (and I'm still trying to keep it secret as it's early) but,

WE ARE PREGNANT!!!

Yup. You read that right. Saturday morning I got up, peed in a cup and dipped the little hCG stick in it and came in the living room. I waited 5 minutes and fully prepared myself for the impending negative I have become so used to seeing. Instead, I saw two lines. DARK lines. Those beautiful little pee lines indicated that I was indeed pregnant. I dipped another to make sure after wiping tears and practically jumping up and down. Waited another 5 minutes. Once again, I was pleasantly surprised with another set of twin lines!
I immediately got dressed and went to the grocery store. I bought ANOTHER box of pregnancy tests, this time the digital ones. Chugged a bottle of water on the way home. Peed on the stick. Instead of waiting 3 minutes, I checked after like 1. There on the screen was the best thing I've read to this day: Yes+.

Needless to say, we freaked. Well, I freaked, Curtis remained impassive as he was super nervous. I called my doc and told them about the positive results. The nurse said, "When did you get the positive result?" I said, "I just got 3 positive tests within the last hour." She responded, "Wow! You really wanted to be sure didn't you?" I just laughed, "You have no idea." She then said she would leave a note for my nurse who would call back with the next steps.
The nurse called me back about an hour later, "I spoke with Dr. [Awesome]. Here's what he wants you to do: Pee on three more tests. If those come back positive, take 2 more. If that comes back positive, take just one mor-". The whole time I'm like, "Ok. Uh huh. Honey! We have to go to the store!" Until she stopped and started laughing. She was like, "We're just kidding. Three was plenty. We'll go ahead and schedule your blood beta test for tomorrow morning at 8:30." HURR HURR HURR lady. I was totally ready to go all Juno style- drink a crap ton of Sunny D and pee on every pregnancy test in our little town! Thankfully, they were just kidding and we made plans for the beta.
The rest of the day was spent in awe and prayer...just hoping that the beta would show that this was a viable pregnancy and not a chemical one. We also let those who were chronicling our journey know, but continued to ask for prayers/baby dust/good thoughts.

That leads us to today. We got up bright and early and headed to the big city for our beta test. My Mother-in-law came too. She's been cooped up in the house and wanted to get out for a little while, so we planned a trip to Costco and a couple other stores. We get to the doctor's office and the waiting room gets packed...complete with a couple that had the most adorable set of 7-month-old twins I have ever seen! All the rest of us in the room just stared at them and smiled. Dr. Awesome called a couple back and then waved me back as well. He told me, "We'll get the results today and call you when we know." I asked about continuing the Progesterone gel, which he replied yes and gave me some more. He then took the blood sample, joked about the request to pee on even more tests ("The nurses don't understand. My wife and I did the same thing for weeks."), then wished me well! Off we went to breakfast.
We soon had to cut our trip short as I got a text from a woman who wanted to look at the puppies. So instead of hitting up the stores, we just began the drive home. I was on the phone with my Mom when the doctor called. He told me, "Well I have some good news! Your beta came back mumbled-mubled-5...." I was like, "Huh? Can you repeat the number?" He said, "5-7-5." I think I said, "Holy cow! That's HUGE!". He then laughed and said, "Yup. It could possibly be twins!" To which I fainted.

Just kidding. But he went on to explain that we need one more test to check the doubling (Tuesday at 8am) and then we can go from there. But the number I got was very strong, very good and we're confident this is a viable pregnancy!

So as of right now, I am 4 weeks with an estimated due date of 6/4/13. I have some people hoping for twins and, to be the cliche Mom-to-be, I don't care as long as it's healthy and sticks around for 9 months!!
Just a quick note: Current side effects are just cramping, tiredness and sore boobs. No real nausea yet, though I get a little while eating and I got some while driving. No spotting. Headaches, but I used to get those a lot anyways.

As always, please continue the good thoughts and I'll be back for an update when I get my Beta #2 results back. Until then, lots of baby dust and love!!

Unwillingly Making it Rain

Money. Probably the most hated thing in the infertility world. Even by those who have insurance coverage. If you've followed this blog for a while now, you'd know that we are not one of those lucky ones. Everything we have done so far has been out of pocket. Thankfully, nothing catastrophic has occurred and we've been able to easily afford the treatments.
When I knew that we would be facing quite a lot of treatments this year, I chose an insurance plan that was very low cost each month and I elected the Health Savings Account that came with it. Since I claim "Married, withholding at higher single rate" I needed all the help I could get with taxes! I also elected that $100 per paycheck go in to that HSA since I knew it would be our lifeline throughout the year. That's $2,400 through the year, on top of the $2,000 the company gave us.

As of right now, our HSA is down to $868.62.

With the cost of IUI's running about $1,150 (best case scenario), we have room for about 1 more. That was before Curtis got sick and had to go to the ER, then have an ultrasound, then a CT Scan, then bloodwork, then see a surgeon, then his primary care doctor, then the ER again and another radiology test tomorrow followed with more bloodwork. You see, here's the problem: Since our insurance does not cover Infertility or anything relating to Fertility Treatments, all of the money we've paid OOP does NOT count towards out deductible or our coinsurance. The medical plan I chose has a low monthly cost due to a HIGH deductible & coinsurance. We're talking a $3,000 deductible and $6,000 coinsurance. We're also talking that pretty much NONE of that has been met this year because we never get sick. Jokes on me now right?

So if you're following along, then you understand that we will still need to meet our deductible before insurance covers any cost. Then, we could still potentially pay another large chunk out of pocket thanks to the coinsurance. Which, broken down, means that we could pay a whopping $9,000 before the fat lady sings...or in my case, sobs.
To say that I'm stressed, is an understatement. Sitting here thinking that the only thing that stands between us and our dream of a baby, is money makes me sick and incredibly angry. Angry that other people don't have this problem getting pregnant. Angry that people who can barely afford to put food in their mouths get to be "blessed" with children. LIVID at all the drug-users and government-sucking-welfare-bums just pop kids out left and right, all the while using my tax dollars for it*.

I know what you're thinking, Lindsay, you could still be pregnant right now. Stop stressing. I don't really know how to explain it, but that "different feeling" I'd been having, just disappeared the other day. I just woke up and thought, nope, not pregnant...and that cloud has been following me around ever since.I'm at the point now where I've pretty much accepted it and I just want to test and get it over with.
I'm also pretty sure that this is going to be our last round for a while. With the large amount of bills we know are coming in, we just won't be able to afford this again...at least not this year. I'm even considering changing to a lower deductible, higher monthly premium insurance plan because this situation has me completely sideways and practically in tears.

Of course I'm still hoping with what little I have left, that I am in fact knocked up, so prayers/good thoughts/baby dust is very much needed and appreciated. A little extra for my sanity doesn't hurt either! As always, thanks for the continued support guys! Let's hope this is just a bad day and that tomorrow will be brighter...


*I have proof that people in my little town are able-bodied and CAN work, they are just too lazy and prefer to get a handout from Uncle Sam. I'm not saying that's ALL of the people on welfare. I'm just saying I know those cheating the system. 

Two week wait, 1 week down!

Hey everybody! First off, sorry for my absence during this round's 2WW (two week wait). I have been so crazy busy with work, my Gold Canyon Breast Cancer Awareness Pink Party, puppies and, the kicker, Curtis getting so sick we had to make a trip to the ER, I just haven't had time to blog. It doesn't help that with my new bedtime being right at 9:00pm, I don't have as many hours after work as I used to. Seriously, I am wide awake around 8:00pm. 8:45pm hits and BAM! eyes drooping, head leaning, and soon after, snoring! I have to admit though, I'm actually really loving going to bed and getting 8 1/2 hours of sleep these nights. Somedays I'm still waking up tired, but some mornings I've got a bit more pep in my step! That's WITH my decaf coffee too!

Anyways, back to the procedure. Back on the 11th, we had the insemination. Curtis gave a great sample of 16 million sperm with good motility and quality. We went and had breakfast and then returned for the insemination. They had me double-triple and quadruple check that they had the correct sperm from the correct guy. When the nurse first showed us the sample, it was pink and Curtis says, "It's pink? Why is it pink?" I told him, "That means it's a girl!" haha. The nurse and I just had to bust his chops about it.
As for the procedure....OUCH. I mean, BIG TIME OUCH. Now, the doctor that did the insemination wasn't my normal doctor. It was his practice partner. So I was nervous right there. When he first started, he said, "I'm going to clean all the mucus off your cervix.." and I remember getting all excited cause I had lots of cervical mucus! Yea, that stuff excites me. He then told me that my uterus was tilted forward, which was "Normal. Lots of women have that. It's normal. No worries". When he started trying to insert the catheter into my cervix he was explaining, "A little bit of pressure...the line from the cervix to the uterus isn't straight you see, so I have to feel the way....more pressure." It was not just pressure, it was straight up pain! He ended up pulling it out, and then getting some "scissor looking things" (that is a direct quote from Curtis) and trying again. I think he ended up having to open my cervix a little bit and then he got the tube in. He kept saying, "It's normal, it's normal...Good job guys. Good job both of you." which made Curtis and I laugh later. After the torture process was over, I laid on the table with my knees up for about 15-20 minutes. Then the nurse came in with the post-iui instructions and strongly recommended we have sex that night. I'll be honest guys, that did not happen. I still felt like crap from the iui and was cramping pretty decently and Curtis just did not feel up to it. So, no mattress mambo that night!

Since the procedure I've been cramping off and on. Nothing too severe, just steady cramping like Aunt Flow is coming any day. About 6-7 days past the iui, my boobs started hurting. It feels like it's more than just my normal PMS soreness, but I could just be hoping! I'm currently 12 days past iui and no symptom changes have occurred. I've noticed I'm not...well....pooping as often as I used to, but that could be the progesterone or other stuff. No nausea, no cravings, no weird smells, nothing that really stands out as a BFP. I'm fighting the urge to test, but I keep telling myself that it's too early. The doctor said not to test until Saturday, but I might only make it until Thursday. I've made a post on thebump.com's infertility forum to get a general consensus of when I could potentially test, so we'll see what those girls say. It's strange cause the whole wait since the iui has been me thinking that it actually worked, that I am actually pregnant, until Monday morning. Monday morning I woke up and just thought, "It didn't work. I'm not pregnant." I had a pretty crappy Monday to say the least. Then I woke up this morning and thought, "It did work. I am pregnant!". So, needless to say, I've officially fallen off the deep end during this last week's wait, which is pretty bad considering we already knew I was crazy!

In the meantime, please continue to send your BFP/baby dust, prayers, good thoughts, crossed fingers, whatever that we've finally got what we've spent 3+ years hoping for! I appreciate all of the support!

Round 7 IUI update

Today was the day we finally got good news this round: The injections worked and we have about 4 mature follicles ready to trigger tomorrow night. Here is our schedule for the next couple days:

• Trigger (have Curtis give me the shot of Ovidrel) at 10:30pm tomorrow night. She said that we don't have to do it exactly at 10:30, as long as it's not too much later.
• Thursday morning Curtis has an appointment to "do his thing" at 8:30am.
• My appointment is 10:30am.
• TWO WEEK WAIT!!

After the insemination I'll start my "pregnancy diet". You know, the things a pregnant woman can and can't eat. I'll continue nuking my sandwich meat in the microwave prior to eating it. I will cut out caffeine, which really sucks cause last time I did that, I was falling asleep at my desk by 1!! I didn't realize how much I relied on that morning cup of coffee! And in order to get my caffeine fix prior to Thursday, I'm sitting here enjoying a Cherry Coke Zero as we speak. It's gonna be a long two weeks, that's for sure...

I'm super nervous about the insemination, since it's not our doctor doing it (way to plan a trip to Disneyland DOC! GAH!), but I'm really staying positive. I just keep telling myself that this is it. This is what we needed. I've always thought we would need the IUI, so I'm glad we're finally here.

In other news, I'm not sure if I mentioned it before (and I'm far to lazy to look), but our dog Ava had puppies again. I'm almost positive that I talked about her last litter (last year)...Well, she had another litter this time. Only instead of 2, she had 7! LET. ME. TELL. YOU. 7 puppies is ridiculous. They are only 3 weeks and I'm already counting down the days until we sell them. Thankfully, we already have people interested, but we haven't even got to weaning them yet! I cringe just thinking about it. I keep trying to leave the dirty work to Curtis, since this is kind of "his thing", but my OCD takes over and I have to get in there and clean and try to get the smell out. Ok, I'll admit, I think they're totally adorable and I play with them a bit too, but that doesn't mean I want to keep them or do this all over again anytime soon. Oy vey, it's just a lot of work!

OH! and I forgot to tell you. I was talking to the Dr. Formally-Awesome-Now-Disneyland-Butthead about the cost of the injections I had to take. I told him that I read that they were $500 a shot. He said, "Oh God no! The 5 shots you took were like a total of $200. The ones I will give you were like less than $50 a piece!" Talk about a load off!! Of course I'm hoping that we won't need to take those shots ever again, but to know that if we have to I won't have to shell out $3,500 for medicine, I'm relieved. To say the least! Ha ha.
Also, just a quick side note, I'm watching TLC while typing this and the commercial for Say Yes to the Cure: Lori's Fight came on. Can we say tears?? Damn I'm emotional.

Anyways, nothing but GOOD news today at the doctors! Yay! I'll be sure to give you all an update soon! Lots of love and baby dust to all of you!

P.S. If my Nana is reading this (she just got a computer and I sent her a link, so I'm hoping she figured out how to use it) I love you and can't wait to see you this weekend!! Muah!

Keywords

I was checking my stats and realized I hadn't checked the "Search Keywords" in a while. All of the keywords are pretty standard, but a couple of them bothered me.

"Remove tampon to pee?" I don't really feel comfortable answering this one. Please go ask your Mother or adult lady in your life. And while I'm all for googling, I'm scared of what else you found besides my blog.

Remember people: Use caution when googling!

"Is HSG covered by ahcccs?" First off, for those who don't know, AHCCCS is Arizona's government healthcare program. No, the HSG procedure is not covered (unless it is coded for something other than fertility/infertility). In fact, nothing in regards to fertility treatment is covered. I know this because I did my research. I may or may not have been on a tirade regarding welfare and other government programs at the time of said research. I also had someone tell me that it is covered (someone currently on AHCCCS and also TTC), so I had to prove them wrong. And since I don't want to get in to political opinions on this blog, I am choosing to leave the explanation at that.

"Longhorn shaped uterus" Three people after my own heart. I knew I wasn't the only one who compared those two things!

"Trying not to stress" You and me both! Sorry, I have no solid help for you there. Just go with the standard Wine & Chocolate. Repeat as necessary.

"I thought I was infertile until" I relaxed! Har har, just kidding. In all honesty, I wish I knew what that person was searching for...success stories? Guidance? A little hope? I've seen plenty of SAIF (success after infertility) and it can help to ease the panic and anxiety of treatment. I hope that person found some.

The rest is all pretty normal and not shocking. Plus, I have run out of funny* little quips to say. FOCKER OUT.

*By funny I mean things that make me chuckle, Curtis roll his eyes, and other people consider checking me in to a hospital for severe mental trauma. 

Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!

Unfortunately the ultrasound today did not go well. My follicle response to Clomid was, well, lackluster to say the least. *Cue sad face* So, to ramp up the ol' ovaries that seem to decide that now is a good time for a nap, we have been given 4 sets of injectables of Bravelle. 150 IU today, 75 IU Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We have another ultrasound scheduled for Monday to check any progress. Estimated insemination date is then Wednesday. Here's a picture of the "gift bag" we got today:

Forgive my over-instagram-filter-usage. I am an instagram addict. Hate on it.

Those boxes on the left? That's Progesterone. Vaginal inserts...cause we all know that I haven't had quite enough stuff shoved up my vagina this month. What's one more? I'm not to start those until after the insemination though. The nurse gave them to me now so that way I had them. Have I mentioned I love my doctor's office? 100 Gagillion Million times? I don't care. I love them. 

Curtis just gave me the first shot, the 100mg, a few minutes ago and it wasn't fun. Not that shots are ever fun, but I wasn't expected the pinch. Maybe it's cause he did right below my belly button, when I normally give the Ovidrel trigger shots on the side of my stomach...or maybe I tensed...or maybe I'm just a big baby. Oh well. Only 3 more to go! 

Also, a quick weight update: As of this past Saturday I am down 6 lbs! Yup. 207 to 201. I'm super excited about that and fully plan to get a scale this weekend to see if I'm finally below the 200 mark. Crossing fingers!!

Well, that's about all I got for now. As always send baby dust and I'm sending it back <3

P.S. For the record, I hate that song. The one in my title? Just awful. That and Dubstep are like dropping a banshee in acid. 

Baseline Ultrasound - Round 7 Kickoff

This morning was my cycle day 3 baseline ultrasound to check for cysts and any abnormalities that would cause me to not be able to take Clomid and continue on with this round. Since I like to keep you in suspense, although if you are friends with me on Tumblr or Facebook, you already know the answer, let me start from the beginning:

In an effort to make my boss a bit more comfortable with the time off during our treatment rounds, my RE gave me an order to try and get an ultrasound in our small town. BIG MISTAKE. First off, they didn't want to even give me an appointment for today. Their "next opening wasn't until October 1st". No-can-do's-ville Babydoll*!! I need one on Friday. I explained my situation and she forwarded me to the ultrasound tech herself. I begged, pleaded, explained again and she said, "Yea, I can squeeze you in at 9am. Be sure to drink 16oz before the test". No problem!
Now, because I am a worrywort, I called yesterday again to confirm. The scheduler/receptionist said that I was indeed to go in and to be there at 8:30am to register. Piece of Cake! I told the tech I'd be there at 4am if I had to!
I get to the hospital at 8:30, register, and wait. And wait. And wait. I wait so much I almost pee my pants. I tell the receptionist/schedule/stank-eye-giver that, "I know I'm supposed to have a full bladder, but I am about to pee my pants right here in front of her window." She proceeds to hand me a cup that you get from one of those Sparkletts water things and says, "If you can fill this up, and stop, you will relieve some pressure, but still have a full bladder." I grab the cup and run. Let me tell you this: Stopping peeing when you have to go as bad as I did full on SUCKS. I don't even know how to describe it, but I wanted to cry. Even more so when 45 minutes later, I was still waiting. Finally, at 10-EFFING-O-CLOCK I got called back to the room. Now, obviously this tech was just following protocol, but I'm almost POSITIVE that I did not need an outer-pelvic ultrasound (therefore needing the full bladder), BUT SHE DID IT ANYWAY. You know those ultrasounds? The ones where they push on your bladder/vagina region**? All the while I'm clenching my pee muscles so hard they are going to be sore the next day. UGH.
Finally she stops torturing me, lets me go pee and we go on with the vaginal ultrasound. She slides the probe in and giggles, "Oh, you still have a full bladder!". HURR HURR HURR. That means I still could've peed more that that measly cup and still had a full bladder for your procedure. HURR EFFING HURR.
Anyway, I explain, AGAIN, the reason for the ultrasound. She says that so far she is not seeing any cysts and that I have 10 antrial follicles on the one ovary and 12 on the other. Did I also mention that she had a coughing fit while the probe was up my va-jay-jay? And that she dropped a golf ball size dollop of lube on my sneakers? Yea, good times.
Now, once again, because I have no patience, I call my RE and tell the nurse what the tech said. I also explained that "urgent" doesn't really mean as much to them as it does to us, so they might not see the ultrasound results until later this afternoon, but could I please, please take my Clomid now?? She said that it was fine if I started my Clomid and that if the results showed something abnormal, they would call me and tell me to stop. I also informed her that if we have to have another round next month, I will be commuting to the big city for my ultrasound. The hospital just doesn't understand and I saved NO time with staying in town. At least now we know though!

So there ya have it! I ingested my 75mg around 11:15am and I can happily (cough-sarcasm-cough) say I am already feeling slight hot flashes. Oh Clomid, how I have missed thee. Anyhooo, our monitoring appointment is next Thursday, so hopefully my response is good and we can get on with this IUI!

As always, when I know more, you will too! Hope you all have a great weekend! I'm headed to Tucson to help my Brother and future Sister-in-law move in to their new house, so it should be interesting!

Lots of love and baby dust!


*What tv show is that from?? Hint: Yellow Umbrella, Ex-Dougie Houser, Haaaaaave you met Ted?
**I obviously have no idea where any organs are located, so if my bladder is not in that general region, my bad!

Here we come Round 7!

Cycle Day 1 is officially today. Of course that landed right on our 3 year wedding anniversary, which also marks our 3 year TTC date. Oh infertility, you silly little bitch. Thanks for ruining our anniversary sex with bloating, fatigue and CRAMPS FROM HELL. Ugh.

Anyways, after begging and pleading with the tech, I have an ultrasound on Friday to check for cysts, which hopefully there are none, and then begins 75 mg of Clomid, possible injections and our very first IUI!! I'm actually really excited for it! I'll be sure update as the process continues, of course.

As always, send lots of baby dust for us!

Just call me Overachiever!

We just got back from our appointment with Dr. Awesome and got the results from my glucose test and thyroid and some other test that I can't remember what it's called. Ready for the results? Drumroll please!

• Insulin Resistant? Negative! I passed that test with flying colors. 
• Thyroid issues? Non-existent! 
• The other test I can't remember what it's called? All good too!

Yup, you read that right. Even though it seemed that PCOS was out to get me and ruin all our plans, it seems to have drawn the line at my metabolism and my ovaries. You know, only the real important parts. Ba dum tiss. 

Anyways, it looks like there will be no need for Metformin after all. Thank goodness! That drug was not the most pleasant. I'm actually very relieved to hear that all tests came back so good. He did mention that there could still be a bit of endometriosis, but that it's not something that would require surgery. He therefore concluded that besides my PCOS flaring up, we are in the unexplained infertility category...just a smidge. That news is a bit disheartening, but my doctor is still confident we can get "the job done" soon.

So, in the meantime, while we wait for Aunt Flo, I am to continue with my dieting and get ready to call them on Cycle Day 1...which may come sooner than it did last cycle because the "girls" are already sore as heck. Perfect timing, of course, as our 3-year anniversary is next week. UGH. You can't win for losing with infertility, I swear! 

Also, I know I said I would give a blog post regarding the diet conversation we had, and I am still open to doing that, I just wanted to see if anyone was interested in reading about that or learning some more information on it. If you are, please let me know and I will gladly give the lengthy details. If not, I'll spare some of you the sleep-inducing post. 

Until next time, Good Thoughts and Baby Dust!!

*edit: One thing I forgot to mention was that I asked my doctor what his thoughts were on putting TTC on hold to give me more time to diet. He explained that while some women do that, they are generally way more overweight than I am and that from what my glucose tests show, I am at a small chance for Gestational Diabetes. He said the only ways I would probably get GD is if I became pregnant with twins or if I started gaining a bunch of weight super fast. I told him that while we would be ecstatic if I got pregnant with twins, I did not plan on straying from the diet plan we discussed. I'm committed!

P.S. I saw another pregnancy announcement on Facebook today. I finally blocked that awful app that posts "Your baby's progress" week by week. Is that shit really necessary? There's books for that. Please quit shoving it down my fucking throat. If this keeps up, I'm gonna block over half my friends by Christmas! :'((

Last Week Recap

Where do I even begin? Last week was QUITE the adventure! I guess I'll start at the top:

Last weekend (7th-9th) we helped my Mother-in-law move in to her new house. Thankfully I had just received my flu shot because on Sunday, Curtis got the flu and was sick as a dog! He even called off work on Monday and slept for about 20+ hours. I was hoping he'd be better by my glucose test on Monday morning, but alas he was not and I had to go by myself.

Speaking of the glucose test, that was so much fun, let's never do it again! Seriously though, that was rough. I made my appointment first thing in the morning knowing that I had to fast prior to it. I got in and she made me give a urine sample, then took some blood while explaining the test to me: "First, I'm testing your urine to be sure you have been fasting. The blood is a baseline sample, along with your thyroid sample. Next, you're going to drink the sugar concoction. It tastes like Orange Soda without the carbonation and a lot more sugar. You have four minutes to drink all of it. You may feel dizzy, light-headed, a sugar high, nauseous or sick. You can not have ANY water for the first 30 minutes. After that, I'll call you back for another urine sample and blood sample. Then you can have water, but don't drown yourself. After another 30 minutes, marking the 1 hour mark, you will have to give another urine sample and blood sample. Don't worry, we'll alternate arms. Then we won't call you back until the 2 hour mark is done. You'll give urine and blood, again, but then you will be finished. Any questions?" Now, I know I have a flare for the dramatics, but guys...THIS.TEST.WAS.AWFUL! That's no joke. The first hour was the worst. Within the first 15 minutes my lips went numb and I felt like I was gonna pass out. I remember thinking, "Good think I'm in the hospital already!". It was bad. Water helped a little, but I didn't finally start feeling better until after the halfway mark. Then I was immediately 1000x better! When I was telling the nurse, after the first 30 minutes, about my side effects she remarked, "Sounds like you got all of them then! Be thankful you're not pregnant and having to do this!" I explained to her, "That's actually the reason that I'm doing this. I'm trying to get pregnant and my doctor wants to see if I am insulin resistant. Hopefully I'll be back in 10 months doing this again, even though it totally sucks!". I wasn't mad and she couldn't have known why I was doing it, so I figured explaining it was enough.
Today I have my appointment with our RE to discuss the results of the test, at 3:30pm, so I'll be sure to give you an update on that as soon I get them myself.

Work has been crazy busy, but I'm raking in the overtime hours, so let's not count that as a complaint. I will admit, there are plenty of days that I do complain about my job, but I am very thankful for it and the money it gives me to help provide for my family. It's hard to remember that somedays though, so I definitely need to work on that!

Yesterday, our female German Shepherd gave birth to 8 puppies. She started around 10am and had 7 by 4:30pm. We thought she was finished, so we moved her in to our spare bedroom and went to my Mother-in-law's for dinner. When we came back, she was fine and so were the pups (the picture below). This morning, we checked on them again and found one pushed off to the side. It was dead. My heart just broke and I couldn't stop thinking about it the whole way to work. When Curtis got back home, he called me, "I think the one that died was a stillborn. I let Ava outside to go to the bathroom and re-counted the puppies. There's still 7 puppies. There's still 3 girls. I think this one might've died inside of her and she had her last night. So we would've had 4 boys and 4 girls, but...we still have 7!" As sad as I was, I was also a bit relieved that something didn't go wrong and one of them died. I am feeling a bit guilty since she had one while we were sleeping, but that means it came 12 hours after the first, which I am hoping is unheard of.  Who knows if there's anything we could have done even if we had  been awake?
Anyways, these next 8 weeks will be quite the roller coaster with that many pups! Weaning and teething and trying to potty train and growing...we did it last year with two, I can only imagine how "fun" 7 is going to be. But I have to admit, I can already see their fluffy little butts running around the yard in the autumn leaves and I am SO excited for that! Here's a picture of them just a few hours old:

Other than that, Friday marked 1 week officially on my 1200 calorie-a-day diet. I downloaded the My Fitness Pall app for accountability. I weighed myself last Tuesday and was 206 lbs. As sad as that made me, I know it's also not my heaviest, so I was comforted at that. BUT, I do remember how hard it was to break out of the 200's so I need to do my damnedest to stay out of them once I get out of there again. 

I did weigh myself this morning and I'm sitting at 204lbs, which breaks down to about 2lbs a week, which is healthy. I'm hoping the Metformin, if I get on it, will help make that 3-4lbs a weeks, but it's good to know with diet, and honestly, very little exercise, I can still lose a decent amount of weight. Yay! It's the small victories, ya know?

If any of you have My Fitness Pal, please feel free to add me! My username is Linseeloo. 

Today we're on cycle day 21. If we're going by my last cycle I should expect Aunt Flow anywhere between the 26th (Curtis & I's 3 year anniversary...awesome >.<) and the 30th. Right now, my nipples are sore as hell, so I'm starting to think that she could actually come sooner, which is good cause I can't wait to get started on our first round of IUI! So wish us luck for appointment this afternoon and I'll be sure to update as soon as I can! 

As always, good thoughts and baby dust! 

Getting back in the stirrups

Not my awesome Doc......nor my legs 'sigh'

First off, sorry about the graphic title...and the image. I clearly have issues that go beyond infertility.

Yesterdays meeting with our fabulous RE went pretty much according to plan. Maybe it's because I know what a fantastic doctor he is, or maybe I don't set my sights too high, but I swear we spent an hour and a half like a couple of friends just hanging out laughing. I'm honestly surprised we didn't bust out with some beers, although Doc did have himself Circle K 100oz coozie though, so I guess that was hilarious enough.
To kickoff the appointment, even though he knows most of our history, we went over a more in depth questionnaire regarding our health and our family health. I was able to tell him that thyroid issues run in my family, along with diabetes, and that my grandmother had some mild issues with conceiving as well. He immediately set up tests for my thyroid and a 2 hour glucose test, similar to the gestational diabetes test. Since I have PCOS there is a very good chance I am insulin resistant. Not diabetic, but definitely issues with the way my body processes sugars and takes in calories. He said that he and I could both eat a 1000 calorie burger, but my body would take in about 800 calories while his would take on around 600. We're both pretty sure that I will need to be on Metformin, but I'm taking the test to confirm it before just taking it to see what it does like last time. I'm not exactly looking forward to chugging down that sugar loaded concoction, but let's be honest, I've gone through worse during this process!
Apparently some answers I gave during the history questionnaire leads him to think I may have a mild case of Endometriosis as well, some scarring could be the reason my uterus is tilted, but from what he remembers on ultrasounds, he doesn't think it would be enough to require surgery or anything like that. I know how rough Endo is and when he said it could be possible my heart dropped in to my stomach, but he reassured me that it small amounts of Endo can be common (1 out of 36, I think) and that few benefit from surgery (1 in 25). He's gonna be sure that we keep an eye out for it for the time being.
The doctor also discussed my weight. I've never hid the fact that I am overweight, or at least I've tried not to. I've known it and I've struggled with it, but I've not been able to go full force with making a life change. He explained to me that if you took me, the way I am right now, and took away the PCOS, I would have no trouble conceiving. Then he said that if you took me as I am now, with the PCOS, and you took away 10-15% body weight, I would again have no trouble conceiving, so he is wanting to work with me on getting the weight under control to in turn get the PCOS to ease up a bit. We plan to meet after my tests come back and we'll discuss the Metformin and a more specific diet plan. I'll go in to more depth on this issue after that meeting.
Then, we got in to our protocol discussion. With PCOS, we need a plan that gives us a bit more control over the amount of eggs I produce as well as the quality. You see, Clomid tricks the brain in to producing MORE eggs, but it does nothing as far as the quality of them. Injectables (injected hormones) can control the amount as well as the quality. He said that women with PCOS tend to have trouble with ovulation and also the quality of their eggs, so we needed to go at these next rounds with more control (have I said control enough??). He is suggesting that we do 3 rounds of Intrauterine Insemination using Clomid and Injectables. Knowing our situation with insurance and that everything we pay is out of pocket, he says this is a good option for both our wallets and the extra bump we need to get the ol' uterus a working.
I brought up a statistic I heard about the difference between the success rates of IUI's and IVF's being only 15%. If we're doing IUI's with injectables, that can run a pretty penny, and we try for 3 rounds with no success, why not just save that money and go straight for IVF? He reiterated that PCOS can tend to effect the quality of the eggs, meaning that I could produce 20 mature follicles, but I could have only a few, at most, end up fertilized. Doc also said that while he's an aggressive treater, but he is confident that an IUI can get us where we need to go. Of course, we need to get one under our belt and see how my ovaries react, but if after 3 times we get no pregnancies, we will discuss moving on to IVF. I trust his judgement, so I have no problem following his lead.

And, as usual, everything with Curtis is going great. His sperm is fine, he has no family history that is disconcerting, etc. etc, blah blah. That ass ALWAYS has it easy!

Like I mentioned earlier, my doctor is fantastic. We discussed trying to work around my job schedule and the location difference, doing as much as we can in our little town, but also trying to ease up on the financial stuff. It's nice when someone understands that we're middle-class people that still have bills and such, and we can't just drop thousands out of our butts for this. It's also great to hear that, yes Curtis and I are young, but after 3 years of this, something isn't right. So while we wait for my next cycle to begin, we have about 3 weeks, we're going to do the thyroid & glucose testing, get my diet on track, and gear up for our first IUI round to begin!

As always, thanks for reading my absurdly long post (even though I'm sure you're glad it wasn't chock full of my ridiculous quips) and if you're on this roller coaster with me, Baby Dust and good thoughts your way!

xoxo, Lindsay Lou

P.S. I can see that I'm getting quite a bit of traffic, but my followers count is holding steady. Please don't be shy or be afraid to comment. I love meeting new people and I wouldn't mind answering any questions or snide remarks. All I ask is that you be nice, k? 

Bill & Giuliana Rancic

Folks, you are looking at the ONLY celebrity couple that I am so overjoyed has finally become parents that I legit start to tear-up. *Two fingers up in what I hope is the boy-scouts salute* Scouts honor! You can always tell when you've been trying to conceive for an ungodly, unnatural amount of time when you are in a race to conceive before people you don't even know. For example: Kim Kardashian, Miley Cyrus, ANY Jersey Shore cast members (besides Snooki, obviously), the little girl that plays Lilly from Modern Family...I really could go on with this list. Since I have long given up trying to get pregnant before the people I do know, I have taken to competing with celebrities. Which in turn causes more pain than I originally thought it would. Case in point: Megan Fox. I loved me some Megan Fox. I stood by her after she got dropped from the Transformers movies...even after she gave horrible interview after horrible interview. I was a Megan Fox supporter, ride or die. Megan Fox is pregnant?? Bitch can die. Seriously. I hate her stinkin' guts now. Adele can too! I used to belt out her songs like I was right up on stage with her joining in on the "Oy! You don't like my size? You can snog my arse you bloody bugger!" attitude. Now? I hope she drowns or catches on fire in the rain that is also on fire. I'm.not.even.joking. 

Now that I've experienced those reactions, I fear for my other relationships with celebrities. I adore Miranda Lambert. Her and Blake Shelton are total adorbs and I want to nom on their cuteness. If she gets preggers before me I'll probably hope that all her rescue dogs gang up on her and eat her selfish, pregnant ass! Emma Stone too! If that ginger pops out any little spidey's, our relationship, that may be one-sided, will be over. OVER I TELL YOU!  

Back to Bill and Giuliana though. I love them. I'm so happy for them and I truly mean it from the bottom of my heart. Maybe it's just through the infertility connection or maybe cause they seem like genuinely decent people, I'm not sure. I just know that I cried when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and I cried when news broke of the surrogate and, you guessed it, I'm crying because they finally got a take home child. After all they've been through, they so deserve it. I honestly wish that I knew these people in person so that I could congratulate them, but alas, I don't, so my congratulations is here: Congratulations Bill & Giuliana! Little Edward has no idea how lucky he is, but he will. 

And to the rest of you celebrities...you've been warned...

Rescheduling, Rice Socks & Redneckery

Welp, I've done it again. I've been absent like I promised you I wouldn't. Am I starting to sound like a broken record or what? I'm sorry. Allow me to explain:

First off, we got the step-kiddo back to his Mother, whom immediately started unnecessary drama. Why? Just because she wanted to. Or she's miserable in her life again and wants to take it out on us. Who knows what goes on in her batshit-crazy "brain". Anyways, this isn't a stepmom-complainin', baby-mama-bashin' blog...this is about far more important things! Like my Vagina! And Uterus! And Sperm! HUZZAH!

Our initial consultation with the RE had to be rescheduled. Work has been so hectic for me lately that I've been scared to ask my boss for time off. I have rescheduled it for September 4th, which also works perfectly with Curtis' schedule so he can attend with me. So, once again, we're on a bit of a hold, but it's ok. I'm just hoping that the RE and I can work around my work schedule. When I discussed with my boss that I was returning to treatments, she seemed a bit...unsure. With the budget cuts and tension around my office, there is a lot of focus on what everyone else is contributing. So it seems that if I am going to need a bunch of time off work again (ultrasounds, bloodwork, etc.), and we can't work around the time frame of work, we may have to push it all back until next year. I'm trying really hard not to borrow trouble, but this worries me as I don't want to wait anymore. Cross your fingers for us!

In the meantime, we're just trying to accrue as much overtime as we can and save as much money as possible. The IUI's were quoted to me at about $1,100 a pop and while I've still had about $100 per paycheck go to our Health Savings Account, we've had dentist visits for the stepkiddo and new glasses for the hubs so I'm not sure it can get us through much more than two IUI's. The rest will have to be true out of pocket.
I also started cycle day 1 today. I was so desperate for relief from my cramps that I took to Tumblr for advice. Normally a heating pad is what it takes to help me out. No pain medication has helped except extra-strength midol, which I am stock out of! A friend of mine told me her mom would take rice, put it in a sock and heat it up in the microwave. So do you know what this classy lady (ME) did?

If you guessed A) Take your sock off, take rice from the Healthy Choice Steamers lunch thingy, and do exactly what your friend said....you guessed correct! And you know what? I'm not ashamed in the least right now because after two nuke sessions and scalding my abdomen, I'm essentially cramp free. Thanks Tumblr friend!! I apologize if you thought you were reading the life of some soft, lady-like, woman...I thought the wine in a red solo cup would give it away, but if not this ^^ sure solidified it!

By the way, I got my first pedicure in about 9 months last night (hence the pink toes). The poor lady had to strong arm the HELL out of my callouses. I mean, to the point where she even commented, "Whoa! There a lot!" and the women next to me snickered. Awesome. I just blushed and muttered I'm sorry and went back to ducking behind a magazine. Also, another insight to yours truly, I got pick cause of the new Jason Aldean song, "Take a little ride". But for the record, Chevy sucks, Ford Rules. End of story.

Well, I think I've sufficiently weirded you all out, so I'm gonna go ahead and get back to work. Hopefully I think of some other witty (or in my case what I think is witty, most think is bizarre...and not in the good Honey Boo Boo bizarre, just the normal bizarre where people stare but keep walking) things to post about. Y'all come back now ya hear! And as always, baby dust and good vibes!

Lindsay

Guess who's back!!

If you guessed me, you guessed right! Four for you Glen Coco!* Annnnddd, you're already hoping I'd go away again. Well, too bad, cause I'm back and I'm here to stay!
How have you guys been? I feel like I missed so much while I was gone, and looking back through my feeds I would say I sure did! First off:

MAJOR CONGRATULATIONS TO THEINFERTILEHOUSEWIFE ON HER BFP!! 


I am seriously so happy for you and Truck Driver Burt! You guys are going to make amazing parents to your little peanut (or peanuts if TDB has his way!). It's always so awesome when a fellow infertile moves on.

Now for a little update on our life...you haven't really missed much...so no worries: Stepson arrived on June 18th  and, as usual, it's been a whirlwind since he's been here. Trying to squeeze in as much fun-time as our work schedules will allow, visiting with friends and family that haven't seen him, school clothes shopping (not only a punch in the wallet, but the gut as well...I mean, when did backpacks become $40??!!**), etc. But now, as his time with us is winding down, things are seeming to semi-calm down as well. It sucks to know that the end is so close, but knowing he will be back in December is comforting and making saying goodbye a little bit easier.
As for a baby-making update: Even without the Clomid, my body seems to be ovulating since I've had a period each month without the medication...but I also know that isn't a guarantee that I ovulated, so we'll just have to see. I've still been tracking my period, but I haven't been using ovulation sticks cause I hate them and they're confusing.
I also made an appointment with my RE for August 20th (do I seem excited much?). Since I'm 75% positive that we'll move directly on to IUI's, I figured I might as well become an actual patient of my RE instead of just going to him with referral after referral. So our initial consultation is August 20th for us to discuss the protocol, maybe some testing again, etc. I'm nervous, but also kind of excited to get back in the stirrups...ba-dum-tiss! But seriously, I feel that this break has rejuvenated us and I'm ready to go beat my lady business til she gives me what I want, dammit! Obviously I've been reading/watching too many comic books, so please bear with my HULK SMASH attitude. It happens...

Well, once again, onward and forward. I promise that I'm finally back (I actually have a couple other blog posts planned, yay for wishful thinking!! haha) and I hope most of you have stuck with me during my hiatus. Baby dust and good thoughts to all of you! And a Happy Friday!





*If you got the reference, I love you.
**Special shout out to my Mom for letting all us kids get a new backpack every year, especially at that price!!

One Lovely Blog - My very first award

I got an award y'all!! I had always seen these "blog awards" going around other, more popular blogs, but I never thought I'd be on the receiving end of one. Many thanks to Infertile Housewife!! You guys should really go check out her blog, if you haven't already. She has such hilarious nicknames for the special ones in her life (Banana Face?!? Bahaha!) and is a total sweetheart. She is the epitome of southern hospitality!

One to the award rules:

1. Share who gave you the award with a link back to their blog. (You can click on her name above for the link).
2. Share 7 random facts about yourself. 
3. Give the award to 15 other bloggers. 
4. Let them know that they've won. 
5. Put the award up on your blog. 

Step 1 is done, so on to Step 2...7 random facts. Oh boy, I've never been good at this kind of thing, but here we go:

1. I like my mac-n-cheese (only if it's Kraft), oatmeal, and scrambled eggs runny. Well, I guess soupy in the mac-n-cheese case.
2. I almost always try to read a book before watching the movie/tv show adaption. I like to be one of those snotty people, "Oh, the book is SOOO much better...the director missed SOOO many things." 
3. When I was a senior in high school I dreamed of getting in my car and driving east (think New Mexico/Texas) and settling in the first town I ran out of gas in. 
4. I am technically an only child. My parents split after having me and my Mom went on to have just one more baby with my Stepdad, my half-sister. My other siblings are all step-siblings. 
5. I ADORE the sound of genuine laughter, from babies and kids and even adults. 
6. I am TERRIFIED of ghosts/paranormal shit/demons/whatever. Seriously. I can't watch Paranormal Activity without having a panic attack later when I'm trying to sleep. It drives Curtis nuts. 
7. I tend to really love something, until everyone else loves it. For example, I really enjoyed Twilight after I read it and the first movie came out. Then I just got sick of it. The hype of it, the obsessed fans, all of it. I still watch the movies (at least a week after it comes out, I hate packed move theaters), but I just hate it now. I'm feeling that way about The Hunger Games now too! The only exceptions are comic book movies and Harry Potter.  

Step 3: I don't have 15 blogs to give this award to, so I'll give it to the ones that when they have a new post I get all fan-girly-excited to read it.

1. Emily over at Come What May. She and her husband suffered with infertility also and now have three beautiful children (TRIPLETS!!) thanks to a successful round of IVF. 
2. Megan over at  Girl Meets Camera. She is an Army Wife currently living in Korea with her Hubs and two adorable kiddies. Little Timmy is seriously one of the cutest kids I've ever seen...on the internet. haha. 
3. Carly over at Life is Beautiful. Carly and I go all the way back to high school and she has been such a huge supporter of Curtis and I during our infertility struggle...all while wrestling her two kiddos and watching her husband become a EMT firefighter. 
4. Thundercatsareago over at Our Crazy Life . She and her hubby just got pregnant with twin boys after a successful IVF round! 
5. Jessica over at Poppy and Pine. Jess is one of my good friends who is currently living in Okinawa-Japan with her Marine hubby and too cute son Jackson. She's also one of my fitness motivators...she appreciates the finer, less-healthy foods every now and then, just like me! 
6. The Kraken over at The Kraken. She and her hubby suffered from infertility until she got preggers with a successful round with Clomid. I think she may have actually had her baby since she hasn't posted in so long! She's hilarious and snarky and just my kind of gal! 
7. Ed over at Things People Said After My Miscarriage. Still trying to find success after multiple miscarriages while weeding her way through unbelievably insensitive people. 
8. Queen Elizabeth over at Whenisitgonnabemyturn. She is such a sweet woman who, like many of us, is just trying to keep her head, and hopes, up on her journey. 
9. Eyes Wide Open over at With Eyes Wide Open. Dealing with infertility (multiple miscarriages) while being a full-time Stepmom (her stepson lives with her), which we know is a job in itself! She's such an inspiration as she trudges through each obstacle with her head high. 

Step 4 and 5 will be completed soon! Thanks again Infertile Housewife!!

Guess What?!

As you all know, this past "cycle" was dubbed our last "laid-back round" before we took a short hiatus from the crazy-ness that is fertility treatments. I can now absolutely say that we relaxed and guess what happened?? 

NOTHING. 

That's right folks! Aunt flow showed up very passionately this morning and I am currently sitting at my desk watching Jenna Marbles, writing this blog and writhing in pain all the while trying my best not to hurl in my garbage can. Multi-tasking FTW (for the win)!! Seriously though, I have tried everything for my hellacious cramps and the only thing that has ever worked is a heating pad (which I unfortunately do not have here at work). I even took an excessive amount of medication earlier, more than I originally thought, OOPS!, and it has not worked. A few days ago, when I first had the inkling that Aunt Flow was due to arrive, I would feel some mild cramping for a few minutes, but that was it. Silly me thought that my working out was helping lessen the severity of them. Once again, Mother Nature has other plans for Lindsay! Bitch. I'm about tired of her shenanigans....

Anywho, now begins our 4 month break from ingesting Clomid. I'm still taking Metformin and still have not purchased a scale yet, so I'm not sure if I'm losing weight, but I am feeling better...besides today of course. I'm feeling healthier and quite a bit more like my old self. My infamous snarkiness has returned!! I'm not sure how Curtis feels about that, haha, but it has returned regardless. 

Annnnndddd, that's about all I got for today. I think I'm having a hard time focusing through the pain right now. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to treat myself to Game of Thrones Season 1 when I get off work and curl up on the couch until Curtis gets home. I think I've earned it. Baby dust to all those out there in the middle of cycles!! 

Until next time!