Just call me Overachiever!

We just got back from our appointment with Dr. Awesome and got the results from my glucose test and thyroid and some other test that I can't remember what it's called. Ready for the results? Drumroll please!

• Insulin Resistant? Negative! I passed that test with flying colors. 
• Thyroid issues? Non-existent! 
• The other test I can't remember what it's called? All good too!

Yup, you read that right. Even though it seemed that PCOS was out to get me and ruin all our plans, it seems to have drawn the line at my metabolism and my ovaries. You know, only the real important parts. Ba dum tiss. 

Anyways, it looks like there will be no need for Metformin after all. Thank goodness! That drug was not the most pleasant. I'm actually very relieved to hear that all tests came back so good. He did mention that there could still be a bit of endometriosis, but that it's not something that would require surgery. He therefore concluded that besides my PCOS flaring up, we are in the unexplained infertility category...just a smidge. That news is a bit disheartening, but my doctor is still confident we can get "the job done" soon.

So, in the meantime, while we wait for Aunt Flo, I am to continue with my dieting and get ready to call them on Cycle Day 1...which may come sooner than it did last cycle because the "girls" are already sore as heck. Perfect timing, of course, as our 3-year anniversary is next week. UGH. You can't win for losing with infertility, I swear! 

Also, I know I said I would give a blog post regarding the diet conversation we had, and I am still open to doing that, I just wanted to see if anyone was interested in reading about that or learning some more information on it. If you are, please let me know and I will gladly give the lengthy details. If not, I'll spare some of you the sleep-inducing post. 

Until next time, Good Thoughts and Baby Dust!!

*edit: One thing I forgot to mention was that I asked my doctor what his thoughts were on putting TTC on hold to give me more time to diet. He explained that while some women do that, they are generally way more overweight than I am and that from what my glucose tests show, I am at a small chance for Gestational Diabetes. He said the only ways I would probably get GD is if I became pregnant with twins or if I started gaining a bunch of weight super fast. I told him that while we would be ecstatic if I got pregnant with twins, I did not plan on straying from the diet plan we discussed. I'm committed!

P.S. I saw another pregnancy announcement on Facebook today. I finally blocked that awful app that posts "Your baby's progress" week by week. Is that shit really necessary? There's books for that. Please quit shoving it down my fucking throat. If this keeps up, I'm gonna block over half my friends by Christmas! :'((

Conversations with the bitter infertile (me)

I keep saying Facebook is the devil and damn if it doesn't keep proving me right. Here's the story:

This girl I know from High School started trying to get pregnant in like, April/May of last year, right after her wedding. We had talked about Curtis & mine's struggle and that we were going to see a fertility specialist in August. I guess somewhere along the line in January, she deactivated her page because I stopped seeing posts from her. She just came back on Facebook last week and posted a status: "Me and my husband are finally pregnant after a year of trying! So happy!!" I was so jealous I promptly hid all her status reports and decided that ignoring her was the best option. So since then I have not seen ANYTHING she has posted. Apparently, she decided to message me. Here's the conversation we had yesterday...

Now, before I get in to this a little further, I guess I should explain some things. I did not "come out" on Facebook about our infertility for pity. I do not expect people to sympathize or tell me day in and day out how sorry they are that we are having to go through this. I told all of those on my friends list (in December) because I want infertility to not be a taboo subject anymore. I was also hoping that I would be able to find someone struggling like we are so we can bitch and moan about all of it together. It was not about attention and it's NOT all I talk about. If you were my friend on Facebook, you would see that I rarely bring it up and I still go about my regular trying-to-be-witty status updates. 

With that being said, I still have feelings and I still feel hurt/jealous when other women end up pregnant. I seem like I'm handling all of this ok, and maybe I am, but it still gets to me. And for this friend to try and have that conversation with me, felt like a rub in my face. Let's say she didn't know about our infertility and that she was just asking me a question. This is not her first pregnancy. She has two other kids. She also has 438 other friends she could've asked this question too. Why me? She knows I have never been pregnant. I'm obviously not pregnant now. Nor do I even have a medical degree of any sort. I even asked her after this screenshot, "I mean this in the nicest way possible, but why did you ask me?" She responded with, "I know. I thought I would just try." Try what exactly?? I still cannot justify this inquiry in my head at all, even after sleeping on it and having Starbucks this morning. What the actual hell was the point? Did I expect her to message me and say, "Oh, I'm so sorry that you and Curtis still are not pregnant. Hang in there, it will happen"?? Maybe a little. I by no means expect people to apologize for getting pregnant, but a little tact never hurt. Jumping right in to the conversation without any thought to acknowledge my feelings or my struggles just seemed selfish. Blame it on jealousy, or the fact that I can be quite the bitter infertile, but this was just plain rude. Well-meaning intentions or not. 

On to some good news...or just news: We've hit the middle mark of the two week wait. We've got one more week and then I can freely test, although I'm not sure I'm going to this time. I think I'm going to just wait until past d-day and then go from there. At this point, d-day is next Monday, so Tuesday will be the final hour. As always, prayers/thoughts/baby dust are welcome! Even some comments, if you're feeling particularly froggy...

Have a good one y'all!