Every journey begins with a single step...

But which step was our first step? Where should I begin this story at?? I guess the very beginning. Don't worry, I'll try to make it the short version:

2006 - Girl meets Boy (please remind me to tell you about that story. It's truly fate!). Boy and Girl fall in love and begin dating. They soon realize that each other is "the one" and talk excitedly of the future.
2009 - Boy and Girl finally get married. While Boy already has a child from a previous relationship, they dream of the having a child that will have the Boy's nose & laugh, the Girl's smile & brains, and the perfect combination of their blue eyes. They unofficially start trying to make that dream reality.
2010 - Girl meets with doctor who says, "Try for one year and if nothing, come back to see me."
2010-2011 - Nothing. No pregnancies, no almost pregnancies. Just...nothing. Girl feels like her uterus is a barren desert wasteland.
September 15, 2011 - Girl goes back to doctor who sets up the schedule of events and writes on every referral, "Reason for referral: INFERTILITY"

And that's where we are today. I've read many other blogs of infertility or struggling to conceive and my heart breaks for them. Some never have periods, therefore never ovulate. I, on the other hand, ovulate and have a regular period every month. Some have been diagnosed with PCOS since they were young girls. I've seen many doctors and have been told, once, that I only have a tilted uterus. You're probably reading this thinking, Why on earth are you testing then? You seem perfectly healthy and normal. You're only 24! You have all the time in the world to try and conceive. Trust me, I've heard it all. But one thing you will learn about me is that I follow my gut and my gut is telling me that something just isn't right. My husband and I have not protected/prevented since 1 year after starting to date. We will have been together for 6 years in May 2012. I'm sure there are cases of women who have been with their spouse for 10 years before getting pregnant, I know there are exceptions...but if I can get the tests done now and ease my anxious mind, I say why not? It's better to find out now, while I am younger and I have years left for plan D after plan A,B & C all failed (if they should). You can't put a price tag on peace of mind.

So, going back to our first official infertility appointment: I started my period on Tuesday. I took that as a "sign". A negative "sign". I mean, starting your period before an appointment where the doctor may want to do "invasive" tests and such? I was a bit discouraged. Instead, I found out that instead of it being negative, I found out it may be a positive one. Apparently most of the fertility testing is to be completed on specific days of your cycle. Day one is the start bleeding date (Tuesday). The blood work tests should be done on Day 3, which so happened to be the day of my appointment! SCORE! So I got my blood drawn yesterday. Next week are my next two procedures: a Pelvic Ultrasound and a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG). The ultrasound can be done whenever, but the HSG has to be done between days 5-12 of my cycle. This whole thing has worked out great! I walked out of that appointment...no...I practically skipped out of that appointment feeling more optimistic then I have in 2 years. Sure, I'm fully aware that the ultrasound is uncomfortable and the HSG is painful (not to mention expensive), but I feel closer to being pregnant then I ever have. And like I said earlier, you just can't put a price tag on that feeling.
The doctor also talked to me about getting my husband's sperm tested. Can you believe he has the nerve to be embarrassed? Ha ha. I told him that if all I had to do in all of this was have an orgasm, I would greatly change places! Ok, I'll be honest, I do understand where's coming from. He's already a very shy guy. I know that he's completely dreading have to do "it" because everyone there will know that he is. I'm not a very shy person though...oh no, I am very outgoing and boisterous. You can blame it on the Italian in me! When they say opposites attract, they surely meant my Husband and I! So being the fantastic wife that I am, I just have to rib him about it as much as I can!
She also printed me out a schedule that we may take up once the testing is complete. It includes the prescription drug Clomid, which I already warned my Hubs about. "Double the estrogen honey...you know what that means..." I saw him physically cringe. Secretly I did too. I suppose we won't get in to that until we need to though.

My reason for the blog is, just like any other blog, a place to vent and keep others updated. We're not making it very public that we're going through the testing...a few close friends and family members know and that's it. I'm not projecting it all over Facebook or even on my Tumblr. This is something I'd like to keep more private...as I type to post this all over the world wide web...'sigh'. Regardless, someday I may want to look back on this and remember how I feel today. The hope, the optimism, the happiness. There may be dark days ahead and I don't want to forget where we started...where we're coming from. And, of course, there's the hope that someday I can show this to the child we finally have and remind them of just how much I love them and that there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them.

Crossing fingers and toes,

Lindsay