Curtis had his "test" this morning and to spare him further embarrassment I won't go in to very much detail, or actually any detail at all. I know you were all dying to hear how it went *snicker*, but I thought I'd be a nice wife (for once) and just leave it at that. I will however discuss that I am SO hoping that his counts are good and his "boys" are strong swimmers. I'd rather we didn't have a bunch of odds against us, ya know, just a couple.
Last night we made the decision to let his family know what was going on. Most of my family knows already (i.e. Brother, Mother and Nana), so I figured we ought to give his side a heads up as well. This will hopefully make the upcoming holidays a bit easier. This way we're not bombarded with, "When are you guys gonna have a baby? Oh did you hear that so-n-so is expecting? Blah blah baby blah?" If they know what we're going through, hopefully the rage-inducing (rage on my part) comments will be kept to a minimum. Hopefully.
Funny story: After my HSG test, I was given instruction to not have sex for 3 days. Prior to Curtis' "test", he was to abstain from sex (the kind with me and the kind with rosy palm) for 4 days. This left us one day to have sex this week. Just one. For a couple trying to have a baby, they were really wanting to keep us from "trying"! And wouldn't you know, as fate would have it, that one day was our 2-year wedding anniversary! We were both working that day, so I had plans to come home, do my 30 Day Shred DVD, shower, slip in to something more appropriate and start dinner. OF COURSE, my grandmother-in-law shows up that day to drop off a card and then sit and talk until Curtis walked through the front door. Totally. by. accident. She. tried. to. leave. but. we. JUST.KEPT.TALKING. My dearest husband, being such a subtle man, then told his grandmother, "Grandma, it's nice to see you, but you need to leave. Lindsay and I are gonna do the nasty." Such a poetic vocabulary that man has! In a matter of 30 seconds, he completed what I had been trying to for the last 1 1/2 hours. Skills, that's what that is. Of course, shortly after dinner, fireworks and love and passion and yuck and the most romantic thing I do which is prop a pillow under my ass with my legs in the air for 15 minutes. Yup. That's me. Sexiest wife of the year. We were told that some people get lucky enough to get pregnant after their HSG because it essentially "cleaned the pipes". Of course, I have no idea if I was ovulating on that day or even the day before or after, but being the eternal optimist I am (sense the sarcasm??), here's to hoping that this blog could change to a pregnancy blog!
Speaking of HSG, the nurse called me and told me that the results came back normal. Awesome! No blockage or double uterus or anything that they could see from that test. Now we just wait on Curtis' results and then our appointment with my doctor on 20th to discuss the Get Lindsay Knocked Up Plan.
Maybe I should change the name of this blog to that...has a nice little ring to it don't you think?
Friday, September 30, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Sunday Funday!
I hope everyone had a good weekend (so far if you're on my timezone cause it's not over yet!). I know I did! My brother and his girlfriend made a last minute trip to our town to go camping and to spend the weekend with us. My brother* and I were always super close growing up and I absolutely adore his girlfriend, so I was ecstatic that they made the trek up here. It was really nice to spend the weekend laughing after the crappy news I got Friday. Speaking of Friday, on the drive home I had a total.meltdown. Crying, then laughing because I couldn't understand why I was crying, then crying some more. It was ridiculous. Thankfully I composed myself by the time I got to my house. I'm such an ugly crier, they probably would've left had they seen me like that!
Friday night we went fishing & camping. We only caught two fish and hardly touched the beer we bought, but there was just something about sleeping under the stars that restores the peace in me. I laid awake for a while, even tossed and turned quite a bit, but waking up to the sun shining on my face and breeze blowing my hair, I told everyone, "That was the best night's sleep I had in a long time!"
We didn't stay out at the river for very long on Saturday morning. It started to get pretty warm again and the fish just weren't biting, so we headed back in to town. After showering and grabbing some lunch, we hit up the swap meet and the county fair. Our county fair is super tiny, since we're such a small community, so that wasted all of about an hour. We then drove out to the casino and hit some balls at the driving range. I despise golf (years of softball training taught me to not swing at the ground), but my whole family goes golfing so I decided I had better pick up a club and practice. Let me tell you I.SUCK. I freely admit it! I bet I'd feel more comfortable if I could do it Happy Gilmore style with a hockey stick, but with a tiny club (minus the driver) and a tiny ball, the odds are just stacked against me! After an hour of frustration and jarring my entire body from smacking the club in to the ground, we headed back in to town, ate dinner, watched Bridesmaids (HILARIOUS movie by the way) and went to bed.
This morning (Sunday) Curtis had to work, so it was just my broseph, his girlfriend and I. We watched The Crazies, then went to Subway for lunch before they left to make the 1 1/2 hour drive home. We ended up sitting there for another hour talking! Finally they left and I went grocery shopping.Which brings us to where I am now: sitting here waiting for Curtis to get off. I was gonna bake some Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread, but my dumbass forgot to get pureed pumpkin. I was walking around the store unable to focus on anything besides the house we came across this weekend and completely fell in love with. We're not really looking to buy a house right now; we haven't given it much thought since we looked in to getting a loan last year and didn't make the requirements. While, driving around town yesterday we happened upon a house for sale. I hadn't seen it before on any listings (I've been known to browse from time to time) because it's for sale by owner. After stalking it again today, I called to get some more information. Tomorrow I'm going to talk to a lender and see if we even qualify to purchase right now. If we do, we'll go from there. If not, it's not gonna break my heart. I'm fully prepared to rent another year in the house we're in now. And while I used to want to purchase before we had a baby, I'm not feeling like it has to be that way anymore...especially since I saw the cutest baby girl in the grocery store today and almost broke down in tears. I'm such a pitiful mess right now!
Anyways, cross your fingers that we qualify for a loan and keep sending that baby dust our way! I hope everyone's week goes well!
*Technically, he's my step-brother (stepdad's son), but we've never really paid attention to that. He's my brother. That's it.
Friday night we went fishing & camping. We only caught two fish and hardly touched the beer we bought, but there was just something about sleeping under the stars that restores the peace in me. I laid awake for a while, even tossed and turned quite a bit, but waking up to the sun shining on my face and breeze blowing my hair, I told everyone, "That was the best night's sleep I had in a long time!"
We didn't stay out at the river for very long on Saturday morning. It started to get pretty warm again and the fish just weren't biting, so we headed back in to town. After showering and grabbing some lunch, we hit up the swap meet and the county fair. Our county fair is super tiny, since we're such a small community, so that wasted all of about an hour. We then drove out to the casino and hit some balls at the driving range. I despise golf (years of softball training taught me to not swing at the ground), but my whole family goes golfing so I decided I had better pick up a club and practice. Let me tell you I.SUCK. I freely admit it! I bet I'd feel more comfortable if I could do it Happy Gilmore style with a hockey stick, but with a tiny club (minus the driver) and a tiny ball, the odds are just stacked against me! After an hour of frustration and jarring my entire body from smacking the club in to the ground, we headed back in to town, ate dinner, watched Bridesmaids (HILARIOUS movie by the way) and went to bed.
This morning (Sunday) Curtis had to work, so it was just my broseph, his girlfriend and I. We watched The Crazies, then went to Subway for lunch before they left to make the 1 1/2 hour drive home. We ended up sitting there for another hour talking! Finally they left and I went grocery shopping.Which brings us to where I am now: sitting here waiting for Curtis to get off. I was gonna bake some Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread, but my dumbass forgot to get pureed pumpkin. I was walking around the store unable to focus on anything besides the house we came across this weekend and completely fell in love with. We're not really looking to buy a house right now; we haven't given it much thought since we looked in to getting a loan last year and didn't make the requirements. While, driving around town yesterday we happened upon a house for sale. I hadn't seen it before on any listings (I've been known to browse from time to time) because it's for sale by owner. After stalking it again today, I called to get some more information. Tomorrow I'm going to talk to a lender and see if we even qualify to purchase right now. If we do, we'll go from there. If not, it's not gonna break my heart. I'm fully prepared to rent another year in the house we're in now. And while I used to want to purchase before we had a baby, I'm not feeling like it has to be that way anymore...especially since I saw the cutest baby girl in the grocery store today and almost broke down in tears. I'm such a pitiful mess right now!
Anyways, cross your fingers that we qualify for a loan and keep sending that baby dust our way! I hope everyone's week goes well!
*Technically, he's my step-brother (stepdad's son), but we've never really paid attention to that. He's my brother. That's it.
Friday, September 23, 2011
PCOS and me
Wellll, looks like I survived D-Day...or T-Day since it was basically my testing day. Although not without some casualties - my vagina is currently at Deafcon 4 and is hiding out in the bunker reserved for The President, refusing to come out until Monday. She was not pleased that she was poked and prodded so much yesterday, and since that bitch is CRAZY, I've decided to just go ahead and let her hide out. Hopefully when she returns she'll have forgiven me. If not, this journey could get a lot harder than it is already!
Now since I lurve me some bullet points, I'll break down my experience according to each test I've endured thus far:
Pelvic Ultrasound: First ultrasound I've ever had. Pretty much the weirdest thing I've ever seen too. I know that all the sex education classes I had were forever-ago, but I always thought I was pretty knowledgeable about my body and it's subsequent parts. I was not aware that my uterus looks like a catfish at the bottom of a murky river. Seriously, when did that happen? I thought I was gonna see the Texas Longhorns logo. 'Parently not. All the while I'm thinking this, the tech goes about her business, recreating the Grand Canyon in my vagina. When the tech finally got my ovaries in view, I may or may not have waved "Hi kids!" at all my little follicles. I also may not have said in my sternest mommy-voice that they were grounded for life if they didn't get fertilized real soon! And SHUT THE DOOR WERE YOU BORN IN BAR-oh, yea. Woops! Rebellious little punks those kids are just like their parents already.
Soon, the tech tells me that she thinks she see a "double uterine lining". Indicating a possible Double Uterus. Double the pleasure, Double the fun?? She wouldn't elaborate, but since I am not with child nor ever been close, I'm assuming it'll be more like the twins from The Shining. Now, because of this finding, she wants to look at my kidneys. The right one looks fine, I guess, although it seems we're still watching an episode of River Monsters*. The left one, looks normal to the tech, but to Curtis** it looks like Jabba the Hut. To me, however, it looks like Davey Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean. So we have now taken to lovingly referring to my uterus as The Kraken. And as you can tell by the picture, the Kraken loves to destroysemen seaman.
Results: Unknown at this point. I have to wait for someone with a M.D. (or equal value) to let me know...even though the tech has me thinking I have two uterus' at this point. RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!
Hysterosalpingogram (HSG): My heart was pounding. Not only was I scared to death of the test, but Curtis wasn't allowed back there with me, as it's a form of x-ray. TOTAL.DRAMA.QUEEN but we'll get to that. The fertility office was very nice. There were an obscene amount of copies of a local magazine that the doctor had made the cover of (for his success in ART), but the staff was very kind and they offered free soda (SCORE!). They made me take a urine pregnancy test (BAHAHAHA-Nice joke lady) and then get in the room for the procedure. Unlike the doctor said, I did feel the shot numbing my cervix, but it wasn't horrible. The cramping did suck, but when doesn't it suck. When the dye started to show up on the screen, I was finally rewarded with the Texas Longhorn symbol I'd been looking for, of course not quite as pretty as the diagram. I told the doctor what the tech said (I really hope I don't get her in trouble!!) and he said he didn't see anything like that. Relief! The test lasted a total of 5 minutes and I said total.drama.queen earlier because looking back it was NOTHING. The worst part of the whole thing was him cleaning my cervix and not because it hurt, but cause it's one of my least favorite feelings. I cringe just thinking about it. YUCK!
After we were done with the test, my vagina hollered something unmentionable-it rhymed with "I hate you punt"-and went in to hiding. I haven't seen her since.
Results: The great fertility doctor said he was going to send a hard copy to my fertility doctor(and OB/GYN) because once she gets the Ultrasound Tech's report, "She's going to be a bit confused. Everything looks great to me!". THE END.
Just kidding.
Labs (bloodwork) that I had done last week, but didn't talk about it until now cause it wasn't that big of a deal...until now: The nurse called me today (Friday) and said that my Androgen testing came back with high levels of Testosterone. That, leads them to believe that I may have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). And here I was thinking that my beard was because I am Polish and Italian; that my anxiety came from my Pop (grandfather); and my acne was just a given because all my cousins had acne issues...it just ran in our genes. Well, apparently so does this. While I'm relieved to know that it's something medical and not "Maybe God just doesn't think it's your time...", I'm scared. I'm aware that PCOS is way more common these days, and I like that it explains a lot of other things I have going on, but it still made my stomach**** drop a bit to hear it. Of course, the nurse explained they will have to wait on the Ultrasound to be sure that I have it, but knowing how my blood levels turned out and all the other symptoms I have, I won't be too surprised to hear that I do indeed have PCOS. We have a follow-up with my doctor on October 20th, so that she has the results from all of our testing in. Curtis goes in next Friday for his "test" and if you're friends with him on Facebook, you'll see his sad little countdown (I've forbade him from posting what he's counting down to). It's so lame to hear him complain about it! Does it make me a mean wife to hope that they want him to test a second time?? Yes, I think it does and I have no shame!
In other news, I had a co-worker bet me $20 that I will be pregnant in 6 months. I really wanted to say, "Instead of $20, how about a nice punch in the wiener?? And how about I collect on that loss now??", but I held my tongue. I wish people would stop telling me that "When you quit trying is when it happens." Really? I tried that whole "Please don't get pregnant. I will do anything, please don't fertilize my eggs!" When we first got together....6 years ago! It really doesn't work. He also said, "Sheesh, I wish I had that problem." No, you don't, cause then you wouldn't be able to rub pictures of your grandbabies in my face every chance you got. Asshole.
*Curtis and James' (my step-kiddo) FAVORITE.SHOW.EVAH.
**My husbands name. Why it took me 6 posts to finally get it out, I don't know. My feeble attempt at anonymity, I suppose. Who cares now when I've already talked of farting?***
***I'm sorry for that by the way.
****I hate the word tummy. It makes me cringe!
Now since I lurve me some bullet points, I'll break down my experience according to each test I've endured thus far:
Pelvic Ultrasound: First ultrasound I've ever had. Pretty much the weirdest thing I've ever seen too. I know that all the sex education classes I had were forever-ago, but I always thought I was pretty knowledgeable about my body and it's subsequent parts. I was not aware that my uterus looks like a catfish at the bottom of a murky river. Seriously, when did that happen? I thought I was gonna see the Texas Longhorns logo. 'Parently not. All the while I'm thinking this, the tech goes about her business, recreating the Grand Canyon in my vagina. When the tech finally got my ovaries in view, I may or may not have waved "Hi kids!" at all my little follicles. I also may not have said in my sternest mommy-voice that they were grounded for life if they didn't get fertilized real soon! And SHUT THE DOOR WERE YOU BORN IN BAR-oh, yea. Woops! Rebellious little punks those kids are
Soon, the tech tells me that she thinks she see a "double uterine lining". Indicating a possible Double Uterus. Double the pleasure, Double the fun?? She wouldn't elaborate, but since I am not with child nor ever been close, I'm assuming it'll be more like the twins from The Shining. Now, because of this finding, she wants to look at my kidneys. The right one looks fine, I guess, although it seems we're still watching an episode of River Monsters*. The left one, looks normal to the tech, but to Curtis** it looks like Jabba the Hut. To me, however, it looks like Davey Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean. So we have now taken to lovingly referring to my uterus as The Kraken. And as you can tell by the picture, the Kraken loves to destroy
Results: Unknown at this point. I have to wait for someone with a M.D. (or equal value) to let me know...even though the tech has me thinking I have two uterus' at this point. RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!
Hysterosalpingogram (HSG): My heart was pounding. Not only was I scared to death of the test, but Curtis wasn't allowed back there with me, as it's a form of x-ray. TOTAL.DRAMA.QUEEN but we'll get to that. The fertility office was very nice. There were an obscene amount of copies of a local magazine that the doctor had made the cover of (for his success in ART), but the staff was very kind and they offered free soda (SCORE!). They made me take a urine pregnancy test (BAHAHAHA-Nice joke lady) and then get in the room for the procedure. Unlike the doctor said, I did feel the shot numbing my cervix, but it wasn't horrible. The cramping did suck, but when doesn't it suck. When the dye started to show up on the screen, I was finally rewarded with the Texas Longhorn symbol I'd been looking for, of course not quite as pretty as the diagram. I told the doctor what the tech said (I really hope I don't get her in trouble!!) and he said he didn't see anything like that. Relief! The test lasted a total of 5 minutes and I said total.drama.queen earlier because looking back it was NOTHING. The worst part of the whole thing was him cleaning my cervix and not because it hurt, but cause it's one of my least favorite feelings. I cringe just thinking about it. YUCK!
After we were done with the test, my vagina hollered something unmentionable-it rhymed with "I hate you punt"-and went in to hiding. I haven't seen her since.
Results: The great fertility doctor said he was going to send a hard copy to my fertility doctor(and OB/GYN) because once she gets the Ultrasound Tech's report, "She's going to be a bit confused. Everything looks great to me!". THE END.
Just kidding.
Labs (bloodwork) that I had done last week, but didn't talk about it until now cause it wasn't that big of a deal...until now: The nurse called me today (Friday) and said that my Androgen testing came back with high levels of Testosterone. That, leads them to believe that I may have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). And here I was thinking that my beard was because I am Polish and Italian; that my anxiety came from my Pop (grandfather); and my acne was just a given because all my cousins had acne issues...it just ran in our genes. Well, apparently so does this. While I'm relieved to know that it's something medical and not "Maybe God just doesn't think it's your time...", I'm scared. I'm aware that PCOS is way more common these days, and I like that it explains a lot of other things I have going on, but it still made my stomach**** drop a bit to hear it. Of course, the nurse explained they will have to wait on the Ultrasound to be sure that I have it, but knowing how my blood levels turned out and all the other symptoms I have, I won't be too surprised to hear that I do indeed have PCOS. We have a follow-up with my doctor on October 20th, so that she has the results from all of our testing in. Curtis goes in next Friday for his "test" and if you're friends with him on Facebook, you'll see his sad little countdown (I've forbade him from posting what he's counting down to). It's so lame to hear him complain about it! Does it make me a mean wife to hope that they want him to test a second time?? Yes, I think it does and I have no shame!
In other news, I had a co-worker bet me $20 that I will be pregnant in 6 months. I really wanted to say, "Instead of $20, how about a nice punch in the wiener?? And how about I collect on that loss now??", but I held my tongue. I wish people would stop telling me that "When you quit trying is when it happens." Really? I tried that whole "Please don't get pregnant. I will do anything, please don't fertilize my eggs!" When we first got together....6 years ago! It really doesn't work. He also said, "Sheesh, I wish I had that problem." No, you don't, cause then you wouldn't be able to rub pictures of your grandbabies in my face every chance you got. Asshole.
*Curtis and James' (my step-kiddo) FAVORITE.SHOW.EVAH.
**My husbands name. Why it took me 6 posts to finally get it out, I don't know. My feeble attempt at anonymity, I suppose. Who cares now when I've already talked of farting?***
***I'm sorry for that by the way.
****I hate the word tummy. It makes me cringe!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Even the doctor I have yet to meet is chanting at me!
I know, I know, two posts in one night...WHOA! I had to share this though-I got an email from the center that is performing my HSG test giving me strict steps to follow prior to my appointment...pay attention to the last one:
DEY NOEZ?! Ok, I will admit, I did google the test because I was curious of the cost. The stories I "stumbled upon" were a bit scary, but I don't think my anxiety is "heightened" anymore than it already was (nervous of results).
Anyways, I just wish these doctors would stop telling me to stress. Do they know how neurotic I am already?? Telling me not to stress is like telling Ari not to make gay jokes at Lloyd.
Ain't.Gonna.Happen.
I wish Mom had wrung my neck when she caught me with those cigarettes..
This post is going to be pretty helter skelter because I'm watching One Tree Hill and my brain does not have the ability to multi-task this late at night:
-The title is a line in a Jake Owen song*. It's exactly how I feel right now. Technically I've quit smoking. I quit a while ago actually. And when I say I quit, I mean I quit buying my own packs, but if you smoke can I please bum one off you, kthanxbye. It's even worse when I'm drinking! Buzzing Lindsay ain't to proud to beg for that glorious little cancer stick, even if I don't know your name. Since the doctor gave me a look that reminded me of the eye of Sauron**, I have decided to honest-to-goodness quit, thus increasing my cravings. I wish I had never know of the wonderfulness that they gave me! And by wonderfulness, I mean, the hacking up green/yellow mucus first thing in the morning, not being able to wear perfume cause I smell like an ashtray 24/7, the horribly stinky breath I couldn't brush nor rinse away (not matter how hard I tried), and why am I calling this wonderfulness? Oh yea...NICOTINEEEEE. I craves it...BAD. Any tips?
-Since this blog is essentially about my goodies, I guess I oughta break the AWKWARDDDD cherry now: I am completely ashamed to admit it, but I have not groomed ms. thang in quite.some.time. I mean, a couple weeks at least! My reasoning was that I was starting my period soon (the week prior to my starting) and I didn't want to deal with itchy on top of crampy and bloaty. And since Hubs doesn't particularly enjoy his man business looking like a murder weapon, sexytime tends to take a small hiatus while Aunt Flo visits. No big deal. Then while saidbitch aunt was visiting, I surely was not taking the extra time away from my heating pad & Harry Potter Snuggie***. Now that she has left the premises, should I groom prior to my test on Thursday? I mean, normally I don't really care when it's my yearly. I'm more concerned with what's going to take place and how much I hate it to give any grooming (besides an obvious super thorough shower-scrub) much thought. But this is a real important test...like a first-date-important... Do I groom real nice thus looking like a total kiss-ass, hoping teacher will give me a good grade? Or do I embrace the 70's afro and risk the doctor telling me that the test won't be needed because that.gawd.awful.bush is the reason I'm not knocked up yet, it's obviously scaring away all who dare attempt to enter...DUH!? Seriously people, these are the thoughts that plague me.
-Hearing the ungodly amount due for my HSG test (Thursday) from the front desk yesterday was kinda like a punch to the gut. What's worse? The billing department calling me again today to discuss the amount I owe before I allow them to cause me physical pain.:
"Um, yea you guys already called me yesterday..."
"Oh, we're sorry about the miss-communication between the front desk and the billing department.Hopefully we don't screw up the test and have to repeat it cause apparently our first impression with you is AWESOME. Seems like you're all set. See you on Thursday."
"Sure. Thanks. *BARF*"
-Graveyard sucks. That's really all there is to it. Minus the fact that I can fart and not hear another person, besides myself, complain of the aroma. That is niiiiiice...
Ok, that's all for now. BYEEEEEEE!
*I love country music, you'll soon learn that.
** I also love super geeky movies and will quote or reference them frequently. Get used to it.
***Are you finally getting it?
-The title is a line in a Jake Owen song*. It's exactly how I feel right now. Technically I've quit smoking. I quit a while ago actually. And when I say I quit, I mean I quit buying my own packs, but if you smoke can I please bum one off you, kthanxbye. It's even worse when I'm drinking! Buzzing Lindsay ain't to proud to beg for that glorious little cancer stick, even if I don't know your name. Since the doctor gave me a look that reminded me of the eye of Sauron**, I have decided to honest-to-goodness quit, thus increasing my cravings. I wish I had never know of the wonderfulness that they gave me! And by wonderfulness, I mean, the hacking up green/yellow mucus first thing in the morning, not being able to wear perfume cause I smell like an ashtray 24/7, the horribly stinky breath I couldn't brush nor rinse away (not matter how hard I tried), and why am I calling this wonderfulness? Oh yea...NICOTINEEEEE. I craves it...BAD. Any tips?
-Since this blog is essentially about my goodies, I guess I oughta break the AWKWARDDDD cherry now: I am completely ashamed to admit it, but I have not groomed ms. thang in quite.some.time. I mean, a couple weeks at least! My reasoning was that I was starting my period soon (the week prior to my starting) and I didn't want to deal with itchy on top of crampy and bloaty. And since Hubs doesn't particularly enjoy his man business looking like a murder weapon, sexytime tends to take a small hiatus while Aunt Flo visits. No big deal. Then while said
-Hearing the ungodly amount due for my HSG test (Thursday) from the front desk yesterday was kinda like a punch to the gut. What's worse? The billing department calling me again today to discuss the amount I owe before I allow them to cause me physical pain.:
"Um, yea you guys already called me yesterday..."
"Oh, we're sorry about the miss-communication between the front desk and the billing department.
"Sure. Thanks. *BARF*"
-Graveyard sucks. That's really all there is to it. Minus the fact that I can fart and not hear another person, besides myself, complain of the aroma. That is niiiiiice...
Ok, that's all for now. BYEEEEEEE!
*I love country music, you'll soon learn that.
** I also love super geeky movies and will quote or reference them frequently. Get used to it.
***Are you finally getting it?
Monday, September 19, 2011
In case you read my last post....
I have deleted it. It was written in a moment of anger and bitterness. I seem to feel a lot of those two these days. I have since done my research, like the neurotic control-freak that I am, and have found out that AHCCCS does NOT cover infertility services. Not the testing, treatment, nada.
As for the cousin who sometimes speaks before thinking, I have decided to just keep my mouth shut. I am brushing the "lol" comment off and choosing to NOT inform her of what I found about her coverage. I don't want her to think that I am challenging her or cause her any pain or grief. If her husband and her choose to pursue fertility treament like us, they will find out just how much it costs and they will realize that it is no laughing matter. Unless you've lost your mind and I've heard of that happening!
I'm chocking this whole incident up to being a crazy, emotional girl trying to make it to closing time on a Monday. We're all allowed those slips...right?
As for the cousin who sometimes speaks before thinking, I have decided to just keep my mouth shut. I am brushing the "lol" comment off and choosing to NOT inform her of what I found about her coverage. I don't want her to think that I am challenging her or cause her any pain or grief. If her husband and her choose to pursue fertility treament like us, they will find out just how much it costs and they will realize that it is no laughing matter. Unless you've lost your mind and I've heard of that happening!
I'm chocking this whole incident up to being a crazy, emotional girl trying to make it to closing time on a Monday. We're all allowed those slips...right?
Friday, September 16, 2011
Things NOT to say to a TTC-er
I came across this blog and I stalkishly started back at her first post. About three posts in, I found this post. I'll copy and paste so you don't have to continue clicking like a damn scavenger hunt:
What NOT to say to a TTCer.
These are all things that people have said to me. For realsies.
"Just Relax." Thanks for that gem! So useful and helpful to my situation.
I'll tell you this: the first 6 months, I was SO relaxed. I was Al Bundy, hands down my pants while sippin a brewsky and watching TV, relaxed. Guess what? That didn't make me pregnant! I know, hard to believe, right?!
"Just get really drunk, then do it!"
You're probably right! I bet alcohol really kicks the old reproductive plumbing into gear! I bet all the infertility drug companies are marketing Absolut in pill form as Clomid and charging all us dumbass infertiles triple. Fucking geniuses!
Just because someone you know, or a friend of a friend of a sister's brother in law got pregnant at a massive kegger, doesn't mean that it was the alcohol. It was the fact that she forgot to take her pill and didn't make the guy wear a condom. I know it sounds really OUT THERE, but trust me.
"Just Adopt! As soon as you do, you'll get pregnant!"Wha wha what?? I really don't see the relation between making the decision to adopt and getting pregnant. If you're thinking it would make me relax, you're wrong (and also, relaxation does not a baby make. See above).
"Try *this* position!" Really? I've tried top, bottom, top then bottom, bottom then top, froggy style, doggy style, wheel-barrow, reverse cowgirl, from the side, and in the ear. I've been screwed 7ways to Sunday until the cows came home, put on their pajamas and watched Leno. None of them have worked so far, but I bet THAT position will do it!
"Stand on your head after sex." Hey, I'll try that! I'll also make sure to kick you in the face, after I recover from my very serious
neck injury and my chiropractor says I can kick people in the face again.
"Go on vacation!" You could be correct. First, I will try relaxing. If that doesn't work, I will spend a ton of money on a vacation. It must be the magical combination of sand crotch and semen and friction. It doesn't even matter when you go - I've heard that you automatically ovulate every day at noon in Cancun. Siesta my ass! They're all making babies!
"Put eggwhites in your vagina"You're gross. Don't talk to me ever again. Ever. Also, don't ever plan on getting pregnant, because your husband will permenantly lose the ability to create an erection after you suggest this.
"Have more sex!" Really? Sex makes babies? I TOTALLY wasted that $5000 deposit at Storkbabydelivery.com. I better get a refund! I wonder if they are a BBB member??
"Have fun trying!" Ok, even I know this is innocent. I know people say this because they are uncomfortable and are trying to be positive. But it's obnoxious. If you say this, stop immediately.
"I wish I could give you some of my fertility, because I. Am. Fertile!"
This could be best shown by example, I think.
What? You lost both of your legs in a tragic sledding accident? Wow! I wish I could share my legs with you, because I have TWO and I am so lazy. I hate walking around. I would sit all the time if I could, but I just have so damn many legs!
*do you see what I did there? rubbed my legs in your stump-ass face?*
Please do not rub your fertility in my face. I think you're an asshole, and I keep that to myself. Also, I think your ass looks fat in those pants, yet I refrain. Please: return the favor.
"When are you going to start a family?" AKA: When are you going to have kids? When are you going to get pregnant already? Have you started trying for a baby? Why not? Tick tock!
Oh my sweet baby jesus christ! If there was an Emmy for nosiest motherfucker, you would win! Ask once, and if you don't get an answer, then TAKE A HINT!
Here's the bottom line: The only right thing to say is "I'm sorry, that really sucks. I hope it happens for you soon." It also doesn't hurt to just listen.
I thought I'd go ahead and add my own in there:
"'Hubs' already has a kid. Do you think there's something wrong with you?"
No way! I don't think that at all....excuse me while I go cry in the corner in the fetal position. Of course I think it's me. Of course, being the person I am, I place all of the blame on me. Thanks for pointing it out once again.
What NOT to say to a TTCer.
These are all things that people have said to me. For realsies.
"Just Relax." Thanks for that gem! So useful and helpful to my situation.
I'll tell you this: the first 6 months, I was SO relaxed. I was Al Bundy, hands down my pants while sippin a brewsky and watching TV, relaxed. Guess what? That didn't make me pregnant! I know, hard to believe, right?!
"Just get really drunk, then do it!"
You're probably right! I bet alcohol really kicks the old reproductive plumbing into gear! I bet all the infertility drug companies are marketing Absolut in pill form as Clomid and charging all us dumbass infertiles triple. Fucking geniuses!
Just because someone you know, or a friend of a friend of a sister's brother in law got pregnant at a massive kegger, doesn't mean that it was the alcohol. It was the fact that she forgot to take her pill and didn't make the guy wear a condom. I know it sounds really OUT THERE, but trust me.
"Just Adopt! As soon as you do, you'll get pregnant!"Wha wha what?? I really don't see the relation between making the decision to adopt and getting pregnant. If you're thinking it would make me relax, you're wrong (and also, relaxation does not a baby make. See above).
"Try *this* position!" Really? I've tried top, bottom, top then bottom, bottom then top, froggy style, doggy style, wheel-barrow, reverse cowgirl, from the side, and in the ear. I've been screwed 7ways to Sunday until the cows came home, put on their pajamas and watched Leno. None of them have worked so far, but I bet THAT position will do it!
"Stand on your head after sex." Hey, I'll try that! I'll also make sure to kick you in the face, after I recover from my very serious
neck injury and my chiropractor says I can kick people in the face again.
"Go on vacation!" You could be correct. First, I will try relaxing. If that doesn't work, I will spend a ton of money on a vacation. It must be the magical combination of sand crotch and semen and friction. It doesn't even matter when you go - I've heard that you automatically ovulate every day at noon in Cancun. Siesta my ass! They're all making babies!
"Put eggwhites in your vagina"You're gross. Don't talk to me ever again. Ever. Also, don't ever plan on getting pregnant, because your husband will permenantly lose the ability to create an erection after you suggest this.
"Have more sex!" Really? Sex makes babies? I TOTALLY wasted that $5000 deposit at Storkbabydelivery.com. I better get a refund! I wonder if they are a BBB member??
"Have fun trying!" Ok, even I know this is innocent. I know people say this because they are uncomfortable and are trying to be positive. But it's obnoxious. If you say this, stop immediately.
"I wish I could give you some of my fertility, because I. Am. Fertile!"
This could be best shown by example, I think.
What? You lost both of your legs in a tragic sledding accident? Wow! I wish I could share my legs with you, because I have TWO and I am so lazy. I hate walking around. I would sit all the time if I could, but I just have so damn many legs!
*do you see what I did there? rubbed my legs in your stump-ass face?*
Please do not rub your fertility in my face. I think you're an asshole, and I keep that to myself. Also, I think your ass looks fat in those pants, yet I refrain. Please: return the favor.
"When are you going to start a family?" AKA: When are you going to have kids? When are you going to get pregnant already? Have you started trying for a baby? Why not? Tick tock!
Oh my sweet baby jesus christ! If there was an Emmy for nosiest motherfucker, you would win! Ask once, and if you don't get an answer, then TAKE A HINT!
Here's the bottom line: The only right thing to say is "I'm sorry, that really sucks. I hope it happens for you soon." It also doesn't hurt to just listen.
I thought I'd go ahead and add my own in there:
"'Hubs' already has a kid. Do you think there's something wrong with you?"
No way! I don't think that at all....excuse me while I go cry in the corner in the fetal position. Of course I think it's me. Of course, being the person I am, I place all of the blame on me. Thanks for pointing it out once again.
Every journey begins with a single step...
But which step was our first step? Where should I begin this story at?? I guess the very beginning. Don't worry, I'll try to make it the short version:
2006 - Girl meets Boy (please remind me to tell you about that story. It's truly fate!). Boy and Girl fall in love and begin dating. They soon realize that each other is "the one" and talk excitedly of the future.
2009 - Boy and Girl finally get married. While Boy already has a child from a previous relationship, they dream of the having a child that will have the Boy's nose & laugh, the Girl's smile & brains, and the perfect combination of their blue eyes. They unofficially start trying to make that dream reality.
2010 - Girl meets with doctor who says, "Try for one year and if nothing, come back to see me."
2010-2011 - Nothing. No pregnancies, no almost pregnancies. Just...nothing. Girl feels like her uterus is a barren desert wasteland.
September 15, 2011 - Girl goes back to doctor who sets up the schedule of events and writes on every referral, "Reason for referral: INFERTILITY"
And that's where we are today. I've read many other blogs of infertility or struggling to conceive and my heart breaks for them. Some never have periods, therefore never ovulate. I, on the other hand, ovulate and have a regular period every month. Some have been diagnosed with PCOS since they were young girls. I've seen many doctors and have been told, once, that I only have a tilted uterus. You're probably reading this thinking, Why on earth are you testing then? You seem perfectly healthy and normal. You're only 24! You have all the time in the world to try and conceive. Trust me, I've heard it all. But one thing you will learn about me is that I follow my gut and my gut is telling me that something just isn't right. My husband and I have not protected/prevented since 1 year after starting to date. We will have been together for 6 years in May 2012. I'm sure there are cases of women who have been with their spouse for 10 years before getting pregnant, I know there are exceptions...but if I can get the tests done now and ease my anxious mind, I say why not? It's better to find out now, while I am younger and I have years left for plan D after plan A,B & C all failed (if they should). You can't put a price tag on peace of mind.
So, going back to our first official infertility appointment: I started my period on Tuesday. I took that as a "sign". A negative "sign". I mean, starting your period before an appointment where the doctor may want to do "invasive" tests and such? I was a bit discouraged. Instead, I found out that instead of it being negative, I found out it may be a positive one. Apparently most of the fertility testing is to be completed on specific days of your cycle. Day one is the start bleeding date (Tuesday). The blood work tests should be done on Day 3, which so happened to be the day of my appointment! SCORE! So I got my blood drawn yesterday. Next week are my next two procedures: a Pelvic Ultrasound and a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG). The ultrasound can be done whenever, but the HSG has to be done between days 5-12 of my cycle. This whole thing has worked out great! I walked out of that appointment...no...I practically skipped out of that appointment feeling more optimistic then I have in 2 years. Sure, I'm fully aware that the ultrasound is uncomfortable and the HSG is painful (not to mention expensive), but I feel closer to being pregnant then I ever have. And like I said earlier, you just can't put a price tag on that feeling.
The doctor also talked to me about getting my husband's sperm tested. Can you believe he has the nerve to be embarrassed? Ha ha. I told him that if all I had to do in all of this was have an orgasm, I would greatly change places! Ok, I'll be honest, I do understand where's coming from. He's already a very shy guy. I know that he's completely dreading have to do "it" because everyone there will know that he is. I'm not a very shy person though...oh no, I am very outgoing and boisterous. You can blame it on the Italian in me! When they say opposites attract, they surely meant my Husband and I! So being the fantastic wife that I am, I just have to rib him about it as much as I can!
She also printed me out a schedule that we may take up once the testing is complete. It includes the prescription drug Clomid, which I already warned my Hubs about. "Double the estrogen honey...you know what that means..." I saw him physically cringe. Secretly I did too. I suppose we won't get in to that until we need to though.
My reason for the blog is, just like any other blog, a place to vent and keep others updated. We're not making it very public that we're going through the testing...a few close friends and family members know and that's it. I'm not projecting it all over Facebook or even on my Tumblr. This is something I'd like to keep more private...as I type to post this all over the world wide web...'sigh'. Regardless, someday I may want to look back on this and remember how I feel today. The hope, the optimism, the happiness. There may be dark days ahead and I don't want to forget where we started...where we're coming from. And, of course, there's the hope that someday I can show this to the child we finally have and remind them of just how much I love them and that there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them.
Crossing fingers and toes,
Lindsay
2006 - Girl meets Boy (please remind me to tell you about that story. It's truly fate!). Boy and Girl fall in love and begin dating. They soon realize that each other is "the one" and talk excitedly of the future.
2009 - Boy and Girl finally get married. While Boy already has a child from a previous relationship, they dream of the having a child that will have the Boy's nose & laugh, the Girl's smile & brains, and the perfect combination of their blue eyes. They unofficially start trying to make that dream reality.
2010 - Girl meets with doctor who says, "Try for one year and if nothing, come back to see me."
2010-2011 - Nothing. No pregnancies, no almost pregnancies. Just...nothing. Girl feels like her uterus is a barren desert wasteland.
September 15, 2011 - Girl goes back to doctor who sets up the schedule of events and writes on every referral, "Reason for referral: INFERTILITY"
And that's where we are today. I've read many other blogs of infertility or struggling to conceive and my heart breaks for them. Some never have periods, therefore never ovulate. I, on the other hand, ovulate and have a regular period every month. Some have been diagnosed with PCOS since they were young girls. I've seen many doctors and have been told, once, that I only have a tilted uterus. You're probably reading this thinking, Why on earth are you testing then? You seem perfectly healthy and normal. You're only 24! You have all the time in the world to try and conceive. Trust me, I've heard it all. But one thing you will learn about me is that I follow my gut and my gut is telling me that something just isn't right. My husband and I have not protected/prevented since 1 year after starting to date. We will have been together for 6 years in May 2012. I'm sure there are cases of women who have been with their spouse for 10 years before getting pregnant, I know there are exceptions...but if I can get the tests done now and ease my anxious mind, I say why not? It's better to find out now, while I am younger and I have years left for plan D after plan A,B & C all failed (if they should). You can't put a price tag on peace of mind.
So, going back to our first official infertility appointment: I started my period on Tuesday. I took that as a "sign". A negative "sign". I mean, starting your period before an appointment where the doctor may want to do "invasive" tests and such? I was a bit discouraged. Instead, I found out that instead of it being negative, I found out it may be a positive one. Apparently most of the fertility testing is to be completed on specific days of your cycle. Day one is the start bleeding date (Tuesday). The blood work tests should be done on Day 3, which so happened to be the day of my appointment! SCORE! So I got my blood drawn yesterday. Next week are my next two procedures: a Pelvic Ultrasound and a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG). The ultrasound can be done whenever, but the HSG has to be done between days 5-12 of my cycle. This whole thing has worked out great! I walked out of that appointment...no...I practically skipped out of that appointment feeling more optimistic then I have in 2 years. Sure, I'm fully aware that the ultrasound is uncomfortable and the HSG is painful (not to mention expensive), but I feel closer to being pregnant then I ever have. And like I said earlier, you just can't put a price tag on that feeling.
The doctor also talked to me about getting my husband's sperm tested. Can you believe he has the nerve to be embarrassed? Ha ha. I told him that if all I had to do in all of this was have an orgasm, I would greatly change places! Ok, I'll be honest, I do understand where's coming from. He's already a very shy guy. I know that he's completely dreading have to do "it" because everyone there will know that he is. I'm not a very shy person though...oh no, I am very outgoing and boisterous. You can blame it on the Italian in me! When they say opposites attract, they surely meant my Husband and I! So being the fantastic wife that I am, I just have to rib him about it as much as I can!
She also printed me out a schedule that we may take up once the testing is complete. It includes the prescription drug Clomid, which I already warned my Hubs about. "Double the estrogen honey...you know what that means..." I saw him physically cringe. Secretly I did too. I suppose we won't get in to that until we need to though.
My reason for the blog is, just like any other blog, a place to vent and keep others updated. We're not making it very public that we're going through the testing...a few close friends and family members know and that's it. I'm not projecting it all over Facebook or even on my Tumblr. This is something I'd like to keep more private...as I type to post this all over the world wide web...'sigh'. Regardless, someday I may want to look back on this and remember how I feel today. The hope, the optimism, the happiness. There may be dark days ahead and I don't want to forget where we started...where we're coming from. And, of course, there's the hope that someday I can show this to the child we finally have and remind them of just how much I love them and that there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them.
Crossing fingers and toes,
Lindsay
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