Baseline Ultrasound - Round 7 Kickoff

This morning was my cycle day 3 baseline ultrasound to check for cysts and any abnormalities that would cause me to not be able to take Clomid and continue on with this round. Since I like to keep you in suspense, although if you are friends with me on Tumblr or Facebook, you already know the answer, let me start from the beginning:

In an effort to make my boss a bit more comfortable with the time off during our treatment rounds, my RE gave me an order to try and get an ultrasound in our small town. BIG MISTAKE. First off, they didn't want to even give me an appointment for today. Their "next opening wasn't until October 1st". No-can-do's-ville Babydoll*!! I need one on Friday. I explained my situation and she forwarded me to the ultrasound tech herself. I begged, pleaded, explained again and she said, "Yea, I can squeeze you in at 9am. Be sure to drink 16oz before the test". No problem!
Now, because I am a worrywort, I called yesterday again to confirm. The scheduler/receptionist said that I was indeed to go in and to be there at 8:30am to register. Piece of Cake! I told the tech I'd be there at 4am if I had to!
I get to the hospital at 8:30, register, and wait. And wait. And wait. I wait so much I almost pee my pants. I tell the receptionist/schedule/stank-eye-giver that, "I know I'm supposed to have a full bladder, but I am about to pee my pants right here in front of her window." She proceeds to hand me a cup that you get from one of those Sparkletts water things and says, "If you can fill this up, and stop, you will relieve some pressure, but still have a full bladder." I grab the cup and run. Let me tell you this: Stopping peeing when you have to go as bad as I did full on SUCKS. I don't even know how to describe it, but I wanted to cry. Even more so when 45 minutes later, I was still waiting. Finally, at 10-EFFING-O-CLOCK I got called back to the room. Now, obviously this tech was just following protocol, but I'm almost POSITIVE that I did not need an outer-pelvic ultrasound (therefore needing the full bladder), BUT SHE DID IT ANYWAY. You know those ultrasounds? The ones where they push on your bladder/vagina region**? All the while I'm clenching my pee muscles so hard they are going to be sore the next day. UGH.
Finally she stops torturing me, lets me go pee and we go on with the vaginal ultrasound. She slides the probe in and giggles, "Oh, you still have a full bladder!". HURR HURR HURR. That means I still could've peed more that that measly cup and still had a full bladder for your procedure. HURR EFFING HURR.
Anyway, I explain, AGAIN, the reason for the ultrasound. She says that so far she is not seeing any cysts and that I have 10 antrial follicles on the one ovary and 12 on the other. Did I also mention that she had a coughing fit while the probe was up my va-jay-jay? And that she dropped a golf ball size dollop of lube on my sneakers? Yea, good times.
Now, once again, because I have no patience, I call my RE and tell the nurse what the tech said. I also explained that "urgent" doesn't really mean as much to them as it does to us, so they might not see the ultrasound results until later this afternoon, but could I please, please take my Clomid now?? She said that it was fine if I started my Clomid and that if the results showed something abnormal, they would call me and tell me to stop. I also informed her that if we have to have another round next month, I will be commuting to the big city for my ultrasound. The hospital just doesn't understand and I saved NO time with staying in town. At least now we know though!

So there ya have it! I ingested my 75mg around 11:15am and I can happily (cough-sarcasm-cough) say I am already feeling slight hot flashes. Oh Clomid, how I have missed thee. Anyhooo, our monitoring appointment is next Thursday, so hopefully my response is good and we can get on with this IUI!

As always, when I know more, you will too! Hope you all have a great weekend! I'm headed to Tucson to help my Brother and future Sister-in-law move in to their new house, so it should be interesting!

Lots of love and baby dust!


*What tv show is that from?? Hint: Yellow Umbrella, Ex-Dougie Houser, Haaaaaave you met Ted?
**I obviously have no idea where any organs are located, so if my bladder is not in that general region, my bad!

Here we come Round 7!

Cycle Day 1 is officially today. Of course that landed right on our 3 year wedding anniversary, which also marks our 3 year TTC date. Oh infertility, you silly little bitch. Thanks for ruining our anniversary sex with bloating, fatigue and CRAMPS FROM HELL. Ugh.

Anyways, after begging and pleading with the tech, I have an ultrasound on Friday to check for cysts, which hopefully there are none, and then begins 75 mg of Clomid, possible injections and our very first IUI!! I'm actually really excited for it! I'll be sure update as the process continues, of course.

As always, send lots of baby dust for us!

Just call me Overachiever!

We just got back from our appointment with Dr. Awesome and got the results from my glucose test and thyroid and some other test that I can't remember what it's called. Ready for the results? Drumroll please!

• Insulin Resistant? Negative! I passed that test with flying colors. 
• Thyroid issues? Non-existent! 
• The other test I can't remember what it's called? All good too!

Yup, you read that right. Even though it seemed that PCOS was out to get me and ruin all our plans, it seems to have drawn the line at my metabolism and my ovaries. You know, only the real important parts. Ba dum tiss. 

Anyways, it looks like there will be no need for Metformin after all. Thank goodness! That drug was not the most pleasant. I'm actually very relieved to hear that all tests came back so good. He did mention that there could still be a bit of endometriosis, but that it's not something that would require surgery. He therefore concluded that besides my PCOS flaring up, we are in the unexplained infertility category...just a smidge. That news is a bit disheartening, but my doctor is still confident we can get "the job done" soon.

So, in the meantime, while we wait for Aunt Flo, I am to continue with my dieting and get ready to call them on Cycle Day 1...which may come sooner than it did last cycle because the "girls" are already sore as heck. Perfect timing, of course, as our 3-year anniversary is next week. UGH. You can't win for losing with infertility, I swear! 

Also, I know I said I would give a blog post regarding the diet conversation we had, and I am still open to doing that, I just wanted to see if anyone was interested in reading about that or learning some more information on it. If you are, please let me know and I will gladly give the lengthy details. If not, I'll spare some of you the sleep-inducing post. 

Until next time, Good Thoughts and Baby Dust!!

*edit: One thing I forgot to mention was that I asked my doctor what his thoughts were on putting TTC on hold to give me more time to diet. He explained that while some women do that, they are generally way more overweight than I am and that from what my glucose tests show, I am at a small chance for Gestational Diabetes. He said the only ways I would probably get GD is if I became pregnant with twins or if I started gaining a bunch of weight super fast. I told him that while we would be ecstatic if I got pregnant with twins, I did not plan on straying from the diet plan we discussed. I'm committed!

P.S. I saw another pregnancy announcement on Facebook today. I finally blocked that awful app that posts "Your baby's progress" week by week. Is that shit really necessary? There's books for that. Please quit shoving it down my fucking throat. If this keeps up, I'm gonna block over half my friends by Christmas! :'((

Last Week Recap

Where do I even begin? Last week was QUITE the adventure! I guess I'll start at the top:

Last weekend (7th-9th) we helped my Mother-in-law move in to her new house. Thankfully I had just received my flu shot because on Sunday, Curtis got the flu and was sick as a dog! He even called off work on Monday and slept for about 20+ hours. I was hoping he'd be better by my glucose test on Monday morning, but alas he was not and I had to go by myself.

Speaking of the glucose test, that was so much fun, let's never do it again! Seriously though, that was rough. I made my appointment first thing in the morning knowing that I had to fast prior to it. I got in and she made me give a urine sample, then took some blood while explaining the test to me: "First, I'm testing your urine to be sure you have been fasting. The blood is a baseline sample, along with your thyroid sample. Next, you're going to drink the sugar concoction. It tastes like Orange Soda without the carbonation and a lot more sugar. You have four minutes to drink all of it. You may feel dizzy, light-headed, a sugar high, nauseous or sick. You can not have ANY water for the first 30 minutes. After that, I'll call you back for another urine sample and blood sample. Then you can have water, but don't drown yourself. After another 30 minutes, marking the 1 hour mark, you will have to give another urine sample and blood sample. Don't worry, we'll alternate arms. Then we won't call you back until the 2 hour mark is done. You'll give urine and blood, again, but then you will be finished. Any questions?" Now, I know I have a flare for the dramatics, but guys...THIS.TEST.WAS.AWFUL! That's no joke. The first hour was the worst. Within the first 15 minutes my lips went numb and I felt like I was gonna pass out. I remember thinking, "Good think I'm in the hospital already!". It was bad. Water helped a little, but I didn't finally start feeling better until after the halfway mark. Then I was immediately 1000x better! When I was telling the nurse, after the first 30 minutes, about my side effects she remarked, "Sounds like you got all of them then! Be thankful you're not pregnant and having to do this!" I explained to her, "That's actually the reason that I'm doing this. I'm trying to get pregnant and my doctor wants to see if I am insulin resistant. Hopefully I'll be back in 10 months doing this again, even though it totally sucks!". I wasn't mad and she couldn't have known why I was doing it, so I figured explaining it was enough.
Today I have my appointment with our RE to discuss the results of the test, at 3:30pm, so I'll be sure to give you an update on that as soon I get them myself.

Work has been crazy busy, but I'm raking in the overtime hours, so let's not count that as a complaint. I will admit, there are plenty of days that I do complain about my job, but I am very thankful for it and the money it gives me to help provide for my family. It's hard to remember that somedays though, so I definitely need to work on that!

Yesterday, our female German Shepherd gave birth to 8 puppies. She started around 10am and had 7 by 4:30pm. We thought she was finished, so we moved her in to our spare bedroom and went to my Mother-in-law's for dinner. When we came back, she was fine and so were the pups (the picture below). This morning, we checked on them again and found one pushed off to the side. It was dead. My heart just broke and I couldn't stop thinking about it the whole way to work. When Curtis got back home, he called me, "I think the one that died was a stillborn. I let Ava outside to go to the bathroom and re-counted the puppies. There's still 7 puppies. There's still 3 girls. I think this one might've died inside of her and she had her last night. So we would've had 4 boys and 4 girls, but...we still have 7!" As sad as I was, I was also a bit relieved that something didn't go wrong and one of them died. I am feeling a bit guilty since she had one while we were sleeping, but that means it came 12 hours after the first, which I am hoping is unheard of.  Who knows if there's anything we could have done even if we had  been awake?
Anyways, these next 8 weeks will be quite the roller coaster with that many pups! Weaning and teething and trying to potty train and growing...we did it last year with two, I can only imagine how "fun" 7 is going to be. But I have to admit, I can already see their fluffy little butts running around the yard in the autumn leaves and I am SO excited for that! Here's a picture of them just a few hours old:

Other than that, Friday marked 1 week officially on my 1200 calorie-a-day diet. I downloaded the My Fitness Pall app for accountability. I weighed myself last Tuesday and was 206 lbs. As sad as that made me, I know it's also not my heaviest, so I was comforted at that. BUT, I do remember how hard it was to break out of the 200's so I need to do my damnedest to stay out of them once I get out of there again. 

I did weigh myself this morning and I'm sitting at 204lbs, which breaks down to about 2lbs a week, which is healthy. I'm hoping the Metformin, if I get on it, will help make that 3-4lbs a weeks, but it's good to know with diet, and honestly, very little exercise, I can still lose a decent amount of weight. Yay! It's the small victories, ya know?

If any of you have My Fitness Pal, please feel free to add me! My username is Linseeloo. 

Today we're on cycle day 21. If we're going by my last cycle I should expect Aunt Flow anywhere between the 26th (Curtis & I's 3 year anniversary...awesome >.<) and the 30th. Right now, my nipples are sore as hell, so I'm starting to think that she could actually come sooner, which is good cause I can't wait to get started on our first round of IUI! So wish us luck for appointment this afternoon and I'll be sure to update as soon as I can! 

As always, good thoughts and baby dust! 

Getting back in the stirrups

Not my awesome Doc......nor my legs 'sigh'

First off, sorry about the graphic title...and the image. I clearly have issues that go beyond infertility.

Yesterdays meeting with our fabulous RE went pretty much according to plan. Maybe it's because I know what a fantastic doctor he is, or maybe I don't set my sights too high, but I swear we spent an hour and a half like a couple of friends just hanging out laughing. I'm honestly surprised we didn't bust out with some beers, although Doc did have himself Circle K 100oz coozie though, so I guess that was hilarious enough.
To kickoff the appointment, even though he knows most of our history, we went over a more in depth questionnaire regarding our health and our family health. I was able to tell him that thyroid issues run in my family, along with diabetes, and that my grandmother had some mild issues with conceiving as well. He immediately set up tests for my thyroid and a 2 hour glucose test, similar to the gestational diabetes test. Since I have PCOS there is a very good chance I am insulin resistant. Not diabetic, but definitely issues with the way my body processes sugars and takes in calories. He said that he and I could both eat a 1000 calorie burger, but my body would take in about 800 calories while his would take on around 600. We're both pretty sure that I will need to be on Metformin, but I'm taking the test to confirm it before just taking it to see what it does like last time. I'm not exactly looking forward to chugging down that sugar loaded concoction, but let's be honest, I've gone through worse during this process!
Apparently some answers I gave during the history questionnaire leads him to think I may have a mild case of Endometriosis as well, some scarring could be the reason my uterus is tilted, but from what he remembers on ultrasounds, he doesn't think it would be enough to require surgery or anything like that. I know how rough Endo is and when he said it could be possible my heart dropped in to my stomach, but he reassured me that it small amounts of Endo can be common (1 out of 36, I think) and that few benefit from surgery (1 in 25). He's gonna be sure that we keep an eye out for it for the time being.
The doctor also discussed my weight. I've never hid the fact that I am overweight, or at least I've tried not to. I've known it and I've struggled with it, but I've not been able to go full force with making a life change. He explained to me that if you took me, the way I am right now, and took away the PCOS, I would have no trouble conceiving. Then he said that if you took me as I am now, with the PCOS, and you took away 10-15% body weight, I would again have no trouble conceiving, so he is wanting to work with me on getting the weight under control to in turn get the PCOS to ease up a bit. We plan to meet after my tests come back and we'll discuss the Metformin and a more specific diet plan. I'll go in to more depth on this issue after that meeting.
Then, we got in to our protocol discussion. With PCOS, we need a plan that gives us a bit more control over the amount of eggs I produce as well as the quality. You see, Clomid tricks the brain in to producing MORE eggs, but it does nothing as far as the quality of them. Injectables (injected hormones) can control the amount as well as the quality. He said that women with PCOS tend to have trouble with ovulation and also the quality of their eggs, so we needed to go at these next rounds with more control (have I said control enough??). He is suggesting that we do 3 rounds of Intrauterine Insemination using Clomid and Injectables. Knowing our situation with insurance and that everything we pay is out of pocket, he says this is a good option for both our wallets and the extra bump we need to get the ol' uterus a working.
I brought up a statistic I heard about the difference between the success rates of IUI's and IVF's being only 15%. If we're doing IUI's with injectables, that can run a pretty penny, and we try for 3 rounds with no success, why not just save that money and go straight for IVF? He reiterated that PCOS can tend to effect the quality of the eggs, meaning that I could produce 20 mature follicles, but I could have only a few, at most, end up fertilized. Doc also said that while he's an aggressive treater, but he is confident that an IUI can get us where we need to go. Of course, we need to get one under our belt and see how my ovaries react, but if after 3 times we get no pregnancies, we will discuss moving on to IVF. I trust his judgement, so I have no problem following his lead.

And, as usual, everything with Curtis is going great. His sperm is fine, he has no family history that is disconcerting, etc. etc, blah blah. That ass ALWAYS has it easy!

Like I mentioned earlier, my doctor is fantastic. We discussed trying to work around my job schedule and the location difference, doing as much as we can in our little town, but also trying to ease up on the financial stuff. It's nice when someone understands that we're middle-class people that still have bills and such, and we can't just drop thousands out of our butts for this. It's also great to hear that, yes Curtis and I are young, but after 3 years of this, something isn't right. So while we wait for my next cycle to begin, we have about 3 weeks, we're going to do the thyroid & glucose testing, get my diet on track, and gear up for our first IUI round to begin!

As always, thanks for reading my absurdly long post (even though I'm sure you're glad it wasn't chock full of my ridiculous quips) and if you're on this roller coaster with me, Baby Dust and good thoughts your way!

xoxo, Lindsay Lou

P.S. I can see that I'm getting quite a bit of traffic, but my followers count is holding steady. Please don't be shy or be afraid to comment. I love meeting new people and I wouldn't mind answering any questions or snide remarks. All I ask is that you be nice, k?