Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Beta #2

It looks as if our little baby bean is hanging in there! This morning was Beta #2 and the results came back with a perfect doubling. As you know, our first Beta was 575. Today's Beta was 1075!! Woot!!! I was really starting to worry as I did the test at 8am and by 4 pm I still hadn't heard from them. Finally I couldn't take it anymore I just decided to call the doctor's office. Low and behold, my results never made it across the nurses desk so she wasn't even planning on calling me! Thank God I gave in and called them!
She also said that they would've been happy with an increase of 66% which would have been in the 850-950 range, but with the increase that I had, they are very pleased.
They went ahead and scheduled our ultrasound for next Friday at 9am. An ultrasound that I am very much looking forward to? Who woulda thunk it?! Of course, that is when we will find out exactly how many baby beans are in the ol' uterus. I'm warming up to the idea of twins, but I will obviously be ecstatic with just one. I can't wait to see our little orange seed (thanks What to Expect When You're Expecting app!!)!!

Thanks again for all the incredible support! Infertility really sucks, but I have met some amazing people during our journey. I can't wait until everyone can get the BFP's they deserve!

As always, baby dust and wonderful thoughts!

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Round 7 results!

Where did I last leave you? Oh that's right. Whining about money and how we wouldn't be able to afford another round of fertility treatments because of Curtis' gallbladder and wah wah wah. Wellllll, in case you didn't already know (and I'm still trying to keep it secret as it's early) but,

WE ARE PREGNANT!!!

Yup. You read that right. Saturday morning I got up, peed in a cup and dipped the little hCG stick in it and came in the living room. I waited 5 minutes and fully prepared myself for the impending negative I have become so used to seeing. Instead, I saw two lines. DARK lines. Those beautiful little pee lines indicated that I was indeed pregnant. I dipped another to make sure after wiping tears and practically jumping up and down. Waited another 5 minutes. Once again, I was pleasantly surprised with another set of twin lines!
I immediately got dressed and went to the grocery store. I bought ANOTHER box of pregnancy tests, this time the digital ones. Chugged a bottle of water on the way home. Peed on the stick. Instead of waiting 3 minutes, I checked after like 1. There on the screen was the best thing I've read to this day: Yes+.



Needless to say, we freaked. Well, I freaked, Curtis remained impassive as he was super nervous. I called my doc and told them about the positive results. The nurse said, "When did you get the positive result?" I said, "I just got 3 positive tests within the last hour." She responded, "Wow! You really wanted to be sure didn't you?" I just laughed, "You have no idea." She then said she would leave a note for my nurse who would call back with the next steps.
The nurse called me back about an hour later, "I spoke with Dr. [Awesome]. Here's what he wants you to do: Pee on three more tests. If those come back positive, take 2 more. If that comes back positive, take just one mor-". The whole time I'm like, "Ok. Uh huh. Honey! We have to go to the store!" Until she stopped and started laughing. She was like, "We're just kidding. Three was plenty. We'll go ahead and schedule your blood beta test for tomorrow morning at 8:30." HURR HURR HURR lady. I was totally ready to go all Juno style- drink a crap ton of Sunny D and pee on every pregnancy test in our little town! Thankfully, they were just kidding and we made plans for the beta.
The rest of the day was spent in awe and prayer...just hoping that the beta would show that this was a viable pregnancy and not a chemical one. We also let those who were chronicling our journey know, but continued to ask for prayers/baby dust/good thoughts.

That leads us to today. We got up bright and early and headed to the big city for our beta test. My Mother-in-law came too. She's been cooped up in the house and wanted to get out for a little while, so we planned a trip to Costco and a couple other stores. We get to the doctor's office and the waiting room gets packed...complete with a couple that had the most adorable set of 7-month-old twins I have ever seen! All the rest of us in the room just stared at them and smiled. Dr. Awesome called a couple back and then waved me back as well. He told me, "We'll get the results today and call you when we know." I asked about continuing the Progesterone gel, which he replied yes and gave me some more. He then took the blood sample, joked about the request to pee on even more tests ("The nurses don't understand. My wife and I did the same thing for weeks."), then wished me well! Off we went to breakfast.
We soon had to cut our trip short as I got a text from a woman who wanted to look at the puppies. So instead of hitting up the stores, we just began the drive home. I was on the phone with my Mom when the doctor called. He told me, "Well I have some good news! Your beta came back mumbled-mubled-5...." I was like, "Huh? Can you repeat the number?" He said, "5-7-5." I think I said, "Holy cow! That's HUGE!". He then laughed and said, "Yup. It could possibly be twins!" To which I fainted.

Just kidding. But he went on to explain that we need one more test to check the doubling (Tuesday at 8am) and then we can go from there. But the number I got was very strong, very good and we're confident this is a viable pregnancy!

So as of right now, I am 4 weeks with an estimated due date of 6/4/13. I have some people hoping for twins and, to be the cliche Mom-to-be, I don't care as long as it's healthy and sticks around for 9 months!!
Just a quick note: Current side effects are just cramping, tiredness and sore boobs. No real nausea yet, though I get a little while eating and I got some while driving. No spotting. Headaches, but I used to get those a lot anyways.

As always, please continue the good thoughts and I'll be back for an update when I get my Beta #2 results back. Until then, lots of baby dust and love!!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Unwillingly Making it Rain

Money. Probably the most hated thing in the infertility world. Even by those who have insurance coverage. If you've followed this blog for a while now, you'd know that we are not one of those lucky ones. Everything we have done so far has been out of pocket. Thankfully, nothing catastrophic has occurred and we've been able to easily afford the treatments.
When I knew that we would be facing quite a lot of treatments this year, I chose an insurance plan that was very low cost each month and I elected the Health Savings Account that came with it. Since I claim "Married, withholding at higher single rate" I needed all the help I could get with taxes! I also elected that $100 per paycheck go in to that HSA since I knew it would be our lifeline throughout the year. That's $2,400 through the year, on top of the $2,000 the company gave us.

As of right now, our HSA is down to $868.62.

With the cost of IUI's running about $1,150 (best case scenario), we have room for about 1 more. That was before Curtis got sick and had to go to the ER, then have an ultrasound, then a CT Scan, then bloodwork, then see a surgeon, then his primary care doctor, then the ER again and another radiology test tomorrow followed with more bloodwork. You see, here's the problem: Since our insurance does not cover Infertility or anything relating to Fertility Treatments, all of the money we've paid OOP does NOT count towards out deductible or our coinsurance. The medical plan I chose has a low monthly cost due to a HIGH deductible & coinsurance. We're talking a $3,000 deductible and $6,000 coinsurance. We're also talking that pretty much NONE of that has been met this year because we never get sick. Jokes on me now right?

So if you're following along, then you understand that we will still need to meet our deductible before insurance covers any cost. Then, we could still potentially pay another large chunk out of pocket thanks to the coinsurance. Which, broken down, means that we could pay a whopping $9,000 before the fat lady sings...or in my case, sobs.
To say that I'm stressed, is an understatement. Sitting here thinking that the only thing that stands between us and our dream of a baby, is money makes me sick and incredibly angry. Angry that other people don't have this problem getting pregnant. Angry that people who can barely afford to put food in their mouths get to be "blessed" with children. LIVID at all the drug-users and government-sucking-welfare-bums just pop kids out left and right, all the while using my tax dollars for it*.

I know what you're thinking, Lindsay, you could still be pregnant right now. Stop stressing. I don't really know how to explain it, but that "different feeling" I'd been having, just disappeared the other day. I just woke up and thought, nope, not pregnant...and that cloud has been following me around ever since.I'm at the point now where I've pretty much accepted it and I just want to test and get it over with.
I'm also pretty sure that this is going to be our last round for a while. With the large amount of bills we know are coming in, we just won't be able to afford this again...at least not this year. I'm even considering changing to a lower deductible, higher monthly premium insurance plan because this situation has me completely sideways and practically in tears.

Of course I'm still hoping with what little I have left, that I am in fact knocked up, so prayers/good thoughts/baby dust is very much needed and appreciated. A little extra for my sanity doesn't hurt either! As always, thanks for the continued support guys! Let's hope this is just a bad day and that tomorrow will be brighter...


*I have proof that people in my little town are able-bodied and CAN work, they are just too lazy and prefer to get a handout from Uncle Sam. I'm not saying that's ALL of the people on welfare. I'm just saying I know those cheating the system. 

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Two week wait, 1 week down!

Hey everybody! First off, sorry for my absence during this round's 2WW (two week wait). I have been so crazy busy with work, my Gold Canyon Breast Cancer Awareness Pink Party, puppies and, the kicker, Curtis getting so sick we had to make a trip to the ER, I just haven't had time to blog. It doesn't help that with my new bedtime being right at 9:00pm, I don't have as many hours after work as I used to. Seriously, I am wide awake around 8:00pm. 8:45pm hits and BAM! eyes drooping, head leaning, and soon after, snoring! I have to admit though, I'm actually really loving going to bed and getting 8 1/2 hours of sleep these nights. Somedays I'm still waking up tired, but some mornings I've got a bit more pep in my step! That's WITH my decaf coffee too!

Anyways, back to the procedure. Back on the 11th, we had the insemination. Curtis gave a great sample of 16 million sperm with good motility and quality. We went and had breakfast and then returned for the insemination. They had me double-triple and quadruple check that they had the correct sperm from the correct guy. When the nurse first showed us the sample, it was pink and Curtis says, "It's pink? Why is it pink?" I told him, "That means it's a girl!" haha. The nurse and I just had to bust his chops about it.
As for the procedure....OUCH. I mean, BIG TIME OUCH. Now, the doctor that did the insemination wasn't my normal doctor. It was his practice partner. So I was nervous right there. When he first started, he said, "I'm going to clean all the mucus off your cervix.." and I remember getting all excited cause I had lots of cervical mucus! Yea, that stuff excites me. He then told me that my uterus was tilted forward, which was "Normal. Lots of women have that. It's normal. No worries". When he started trying to insert the catheter into my cervix he was explaining, "A little bit of pressure...the line from the cervix to the uterus isn't straight you see, so I have to feel the way....more pressure." It was not just pressure, it was straight up pain! He ended up pulling it out, and then getting some "scissor looking things" (that is a direct quote from Curtis) and trying again. I think he ended up having to open my cervix a little bit and then he got the tube in. He kept saying, "It's normal, it's normal...Good job guys. Good job both of you." which made Curtis and I laugh later. After the torture process was over, I laid on the table with my knees up for about 15-20 minutes. Then the nurse came in with the post-iui instructions and strongly recommended we have sex that night. I'll be honest guys, that did not happen. I still felt like crap from the iui and was cramping pretty decently and Curtis just did not feel up to it. So, no mattress mambo that night!

Since the procedure I've been cramping off and on. Nothing too severe, just steady cramping like Aunt Flow is coming any day. About 6-7 days past the iui, my boobs started hurting. It feels like it's more than just my normal PMS soreness, but I could just be hoping! I'm currently 12 days past iui and no symptom changes have occurred. I've noticed I'm not...well....pooping as often as I used to, but that could be the progesterone or other stuff. No nausea, no cravings, no weird smells, nothing that really stands out as a BFP. I'm fighting the urge to test, but I keep telling myself that it's too early. The doctor said not to test until Saturday, but I might only make it until Thursday. I've made a post on thebump.com's infertility forum to get a general consensus of when I could potentially test, so we'll see what those girls say. It's strange cause the whole wait since the iui has been me thinking that it actually worked, that I am actually pregnant, until Monday morning. Monday morning I woke up and just thought, "It didn't work. I'm not pregnant." I had a pretty crappy Monday to say the least. Then I woke up this morning and thought, "It did work. I am pregnant!". So, needless to say, I've officially fallen off the deep end during this last week's wait, which is pretty bad considering we already knew I was crazy!

In the meantime, please continue to send your BFP/baby dust, prayers, good thoughts, crossed fingers, whatever that we've finally got what we've spent 3+ years hoping for! I appreciate all of the support!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Round 7 IUI update

Today was the day we finally got good news this round: The injections worked and we have about 4 mature follicles ready to trigger tomorrow night. Here is our schedule for the next couple days:
  • Trigger (have Curtis give me the shot of Ovidrel) at 10:30pm tomorrow night. She said that we don't have to do it exactly at 10:30, as long as it's not too much later.
  • Thursday morning Curtis has an appointment to "do his thing" at 8:30am.
  • My appointment is 10:30am.
  • TWO WEEK WAIT!!
After the insemination I'll start my "pregnancy diet". You know, the things a pregnant woman can and can't eat. I'll continue nuking my sandwich meat in the microwave prior to eating it. I will cut out caffeine, which really sucks cause last time I did that, I was falling asleep at my desk by 1!! I didn't realize how much I relied on that morning cup of coffee! And in order to get my caffeine fix prior to Thursday, I'm sitting here enjoying a Cherry Coke Zero as we speak. It's gonna be a long two weeks, that's for sure...

I'm super nervous about the insemination, since it's not our doctor doing it (way to plan a trip to Disneyland DOC! GAH!), but I'm really staying positive. I just keep telling myself that this is it. This is what we needed. I've always thought we would need the IUI, so I'm glad we're finally here.

In other news, I'm not sure if I mentioned it before (and I'm far to lazy to look), but our dog Ava had puppies again. I'm almost positive that I talked about her last litter (last year)...Well, she had another litter this time. Only instead of 2, she had 7! LET. ME. TELL. YOU. 7 puppies is ridiculous. They are only 3 weeks and I'm already counting down the days until we sell them. Thankfully, we already have people interested, but we haven't even got to weaning them yet! I cringe just thinking about it. I keep trying to leave the dirty work to Curtis, since this is kind of "his thing", but my OCD takes over and I have to get in there and clean and try to get the smell out. Ok, I'll admit, I think they're totally adorable and I play with them a bit too, but that doesn't mean I want to keep them or do this all over again anytime soon. Oy vey, it's just a lot of work!

OH! and I forgot to tell you. I was talking to the Dr. Formally-Awesome-Now-Disneyland-Butthead about the cost of the injections I had to take. I told him that I read that they were $500 a shot. He said, "Oh God no! The 5 shots you took were like a total of $200. The ones I will give you were like less than $50 a piece!" Talk about a load off!! Of course I'm hoping that we won't need to take those shots ever again, but to know that if we have to I won't have to shell out $3,500 for medicine, I'm relieved. To say the least! Ha ha.
Also, just a quick side note, I'm watching TLC while typing this and the commercial for Say Yes to the Cure: Lori's Fight came on. Can we say tears?? Damn I'm emotional.

Anyways, nothing but GOOD news today at the doctors! Yay! I'll be sure to give you all an update soon! Lots of love and baby dust to all of you!

P.S. If my Nana is reading this (she just got a computer and I sent her a link, so I'm hoping she figured out how to use it) I love you and can't wait to see you this weekend!! Muah!

Friday, October 5, 2012

Keywords


I was checking my stats and realized I hadn't checked the "Search Keywords" in a while. All of the keywords are pretty standard, but a couple of them bothered me.

"Remove tampon to pee?" I don't really feel comfortable answering this one. Please go ask your Mother or adult lady in your life. And while I'm all for googling, I'm scared of what else you found besides my blog.

Remember people: Use caution when googling!

"Is HSG covered by ahcccs?" First off, for those who don't know, AHCCCS is Arizona's government healthcare program. No, the HSG procedure is not covered (unless it is coded for something other than fertility/infertility). In fact, nothing in regards to fertility treatment is covered. I know this because I did my research. I may or may not have been on a tirade regarding welfare and other government programs at the time of said research. I also had someone tell me that it is covered (someone currently on AHCCCS and also TTC), so I had to prove them wrong. And since I don't want to get in to political opinions on this blog, I am choosing to leave the explanation at that.

"Longhorn shaped uterus" Three people after my own heart. I knew I wasn't the only one who compared those two things!

"Trying not to stress" You and me both! Sorry, I have no solid help for you there. Just go with the standard Wine & Chocolate. Repeat as necessary.

"I thought I was infertile until" I relaxed! Har har, just kidding. In all honesty, I wish I knew what that person was searching for...success stories? Guidance? A little hope? I've seen plenty of SAIF (success after infertility) and it can help to ease the panic and anxiety of treatment. I hope that person found some.

The rest is all pretty normal and not shocking. Plus, I have run out of funny* little quips to say. FOCKER OUT.

*By funny I mean things that make me chuckle, Curtis roll his eyes, and other people consider checking me in to a hospital for severe mental trauma. 

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!

Unfortunately the ultrasound today did not go well. My follicle response to Clomid was, well, lackluster to say the least. *Cue sad face* So, to ramp up the ol' ovaries that seem to decide that now is a good time for a nap, we have been given 4 sets of injectables of Bravelle. 150 IU today, 75 IU Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We have another ultrasound scheduled for Monday to check any progress. Estimated insemination date is then Wednesday. Here's a picture of the "gift bag" we got today:
Forgive my over-instagram-filter-usage. I am an instagram addict. Hate on it.
Those boxes on the left? That's Progesterone. Vaginal inserts...cause we all know that I haven't had quite enough stuff shoved up my vagina this month. What's one more? I'm not to start those until after the insemination though. The nurse gave them to me now so that way I had them. Have I mentioned I love my doctor's office? 100 Gagillion Million times? I don't care. I love them. 
Curtis just gave me the first shot, the 100mg, a few minutes ago and it wasn't fun. Not that shots are ever fun, but I wasn't expected the pinch. Maybe it's cause he did right below my belly button, when I normally give the Ovidrel trigger shots on the side of my stomach...or maybe I tensed...or maybe I'm just a big baby. Oh well. Only 3 more to go! 

Also, a quick weight update: As of this past Saturday I am down 6 lbs! Yup. 207 to 201. I'm super excited about that and fully plan to get a scale this weekend to see if I'm finally below the 200 mark. Crossing fingers!!

Well, that's about all I got for now. As always send baby dust and I'm sending it back <3

P.S. For the record, I hate that song. The one in my title? Just awful. That and Dubstep are like dropping a banshee in acid.